Lights, Camera, Kiss Me

Chapter 14: We Lost Control

❤️Mac❤️

"Okay, are you going to tell me what that was I walked in on back there with you, Ryan, and Danny? Or am I going to have to torture it out of you?"

Jazz sits and watches our makeup guru, Denise, make me look 'fab, fab and more fab' – Denise's words, not mine. It's obvious that Jazz is dying to ask me more. Thankfully, my friend holds back her questions until we leave the room. Our makeup artist is brilliant at making up faces. She is also brilliant at repeating the gossip she hears while doing her job.

"You didn't walk in on anything."

I told Ryan how I felt. Instead of rejecting me, like I expected him to, he offered me a proper relationship. For just a moment, I foolishly allowed myself to hope he might love me. Devastation and disappointment followed when I realized he does not. Then Danny interrupted us.

"Come on, Mac, Ryan looked like he was about to rip Danny's throat out."

"You know he wasn't happy when I agreed to working with Danny."

It's the truth, but it's hardly the only thing Ryan is unhappy about right now. I just turned down his offer of a permanent relationship. He's probably hurt and confused by my rejection. I know it's a big deal for Ryan to offer something like that, and no doubt we aren't close to being done talking about it, but I can't allow myself to be moved on the issue. Not if I want to keep my job.

So, when we do talk about it again, I need to stay strong. I must say no until he accepts it. And if he protests, I'll give him my reasons. It would never work out between the us. There are too many obstacles in the way. Not to mention that he may like the idea of a permanent relationship now, but no relationship lasts past three months with Ryan Moore. Sure, there is a first time for everything, but why should things be any different with me?

"Danny is an ex who screwed you over," Jazz says. "None of us were happy about it, but Ryan looked more than unhappy. He looked downright scary."

"You're exaggerating," I say.

"Trust me, I'm not."

Maybe I should have asked Danny to come back later, but I needed the break from my emotional upheaval. When Ryan approaches me to finish our conversation, I will apologize and do my best to set everything straight between us. I won't allow myself to become flustered and hopeful again.

"Come on, Mac," Jazz pleads when I remain silent. "I'm dying to know what Danny could have said that would make Ryan look as if he were about to murder him."

"It was really nothing. Danny just wanted to know if we could go over our scene together," I say.

"Your kissing scene?"

"Yes."

"So, Danny wanted to go over your kiss and Ryan got all pissed about it? Do we have our own love triangle happening on-screen and off-screen?"

"Danny is still in love with his ex. I'm in love with Ryan. Ryan wants me, but doesn't love me. There's no triangle."

I worry at my bottom lip as I wait for the truth bomb I just dropped on Jazz to detonate. Three, two, one.

"God, Mac."

"I know, I know. I'm such an idiot."

"Not just that. Why didn't you tell me earlier? The headline was true, wasn't it?"

I nod glumly.

"I can't believe you kept this from me. Trying to get anything out of you lately has been like pulling teeth. I know you like to keep your cards close to your chest, but I'm your friend. We used to talk all the time. Now you barely say anything unless I badger it out of you. Don't you trust me?"