Lights, Camera, Kiss Me

Chapter 19: Not Going to Stop Me

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❤️Mac❤️

As I leave Blainesworth's office, I contemplate everything my producer said. Is he right about my lack of confidence? Is that why I hate being mentioned in the tabloids? Because they bring out all my deepest fears and insecurities?

"I think if you had any faith in your relationship with Ryan, you wouldn't give a damn what I, or anyone else thought about it."

Blainesworth was right. If I actually believed in my choices, I wouldn't give a damn about his opinion or anyone else's. I need to own my decision to be with Ryan. So how do I do that? How do I wholly accept the fact that I might be throwing away my career for a relationship with all odds stacked against it?

I walk in the direction of Ryan's dressing room, knocking twice before opening the door. Ryan turns around, and his gaze lands on me immediately. The warmth in his eyes makes my heart skip a beat.

He has to know that there's a possibility our relationship will end, just like Blainesworth said, yet Ryan doesn't seem to care. His confidence in our relationship turns my knees to mush. Clearly, he believes we're worth the risk. So maybe, just for now, I can draw my strength from him.

"Maccas!" Brad exclaims, sweeping me off my feet and up into a hug. "You survived the meeting with Blainesworth?"

"I did," I laugh.

When Brad lowers me to the ground, I realize Jazz is there too.

"Jazz. Hi."

I had planned to tell Jazz everything once the meeting with Blainesworth was done and dusted, but the fact that she's here means there is a good chance my friend already knows. Is she mad at me for keeping her in the dark again? For going against her good advice?

I search my friend's face for an answer, but to my surprise, Jazz doesn't look upset. In fact, she actually looks thrilled.

"Mac," she winks at me. "I want to catch up with you, but right now Brad and I are needed on set."

"We are?" Brad asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," Jazz says, pulling him out of the room behind her.

Before I can ask Ryan anything more, he's standing in front of me, his eyes worried yet hopeful as he runs his hands along my arms. "How did it go? What did Blainesworth say?"

"Everything you'd expect him to say."

"He told you that dating me was a bad idea?"

"Pretty much."

"Is that all he said?"

I shrug as casually as I can. "He reminded me that the tabloids will probably have something to say about us."

"Yes, they will. But you shouldn't listen to what they say."

"I know. I don't want to."

He traces my cheekbone with his thumb, sending shivers through me. "So don't. Every time you feel doubt creeping in and you feel scared, remind yourself that I love you. I'll be right beside you, taking this chance with you. I'm just as nervous about the way things might work out as you are."

This is Ryan's first attempt at a permanent relationship. I have no idea what caused him to shy away from anything that isn't casual in the past. Does it have anything to do with his mother? He implied as much over dinner last night, but I can't be sure.