A forbidden love- Mergana

Bittersweet memories

Morgana couldn't sleep despite trying. Talking to Henry reminded her so strongly of Merlin that she couldn't help but go into the past. She was reminded of Merlin- of the Merlin who was her best friend. She remembered how alone she used feel in the castle until she had become friends with Merlin. Merlin was patient and listened to her without the slightest indication of being bored. He was Morgana's brother, Arthur's servant but there was something very different about him. He treated Arthur not like a master but as his equal. This is what brought her close to Merlin at first; their ability to annoy Arthur. Arthur- the brother she once cared about. But Uther had ruined it. Ruined everything. She didn't hate anyone as much as Uther she thought but a name popped up.

Merlin. She hated this Merlin. Despised him. Loathed him. MERLIN had ruined everything. He had betrayed her trust. Broken her down. He had known about Morgana's magic all along but didn't bother to offer any explanation when he himself was a warlock. She recalled all the times she had crumbled before him and he was there to rebuild her with his lies. Later these lies were what destroyed her. The only one question that she would've loved to ask Merlin was why? She had loved him, protected him and always pictured him by her side and Merlin was planning to kill her all the time? Why? She still got nightmares about the day Merlin poisoned her. How foolish she was to think what a sincere friend Merlin was. She remembered that it was the first time that she couldn't help but picture a future with him. He was like no man she had ever met. He was kind, caring, selfless and had been there for Morgana through think and thin. He had become even closer than Gwen, who was her friend since childhood. Oh how wrong she was, Morgana thought. Merlin had offered her water and while she was drinking it she was silently thanking God for bringing such a caring person in her life and then suddenly she felt an agony she had never experienced before. Her throat was on fire. Her windpipe was closing. She couldn't breathe. There were flames making way from her mouth to her abdomen. Flames everywhere. And then finally her mind came to believe the impossibility. Merlin, her Merlin, she recalled thinking, had poisoned her. The burning in her throat was nothing compared to the pain she felt when her heart shattered. She was in Merlin's arms dying. She could feel Merlin's tears on her forehead and it confused her even more. She wanted to jolt him, ask him, "why?" But she couldn't speak. She moved her lips but no sound came out.

Morgana turned restlessly to the other side and saw Henry sleeping peacefully. He looked so young. So innocent and so charming though not as charming as Merlin did when she had once found him sleeping. She mentally shook herself and reminded herself again that he was the one who had destroyed her whole life, nearly killed her, frozen her heart from any feelings it was capable of harbouring. This helped. She went to sleep feeling the satisfaction she imagined she would feel when she drove a sword through Merlin's heart.

.........................................................

Merlin woke up with screams echoing in his ears. He at once recognised the voice. Morgana. He instinctively got up and moved towards her bed but momentarily stopped when he reached her bedside. Her face which usually held a smirk and challenge was full of terror. Her forehead had drops of sweat covering it and she was muttering uncontrollably. Merlin tried to listen to what she was saying. "Merlin. No! Why? No! Emrys!"

Merlin couldn't take it anymore. She looked in so much pain. Merlin shook her. "Wake up Morgana. Wake up!"

After being shook more than thrice,Morgana finally opened her eyes but it still looked like she was in her nightmare.

"It wasn't real. You were just dreaming. It wasn't real."

"No Henry, you don't get it. Emrys. He was going to kill me. I had trusted me once and oh..."

"Shh. Shhh."

"Look at me, Morgana. I'm real. Not Emrys." Merlin guiltily said it.

Morgana finally looked up at Henry in the eye and after a few moments composed herself. "Henry. Oh, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up".