i apologize for any errors beforehand bare with me pleaseee ! <3 ⬇️
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lathan
it's been a few days since my dad kicked me out. leaving me out on my own. basically homeless. living out of my car only because i couldn't afford to be ducked out in a hotel.
hopefully that wouldn't last for long though. if shit works in my favor i'll be okay. i had to keep telling myself that. it's taking a lot of convincing but i'm slowly starting to believe ima be okay regardless of my circumstance.
i haven't opened my mouth to say anything to anybody. haven't talked to laila either, and it's hurting me inside.
i didn't realize how much of an impact she had on my life. even if that "impact" was small, she really contributed to my day. never failed to make it. she was a breath of fresh air, and not speaking to her was suffocating.
i've only been talking to lyric and even that's been the bare minimum. i mean it when i say i don't want anything to do with her. if it doesn't pertain to my kid i don't bother to make conversation with her.
as the days pass she's starting to show a little more and i'm not gonna lie and say it's not making me feel some type of way because it does.
she's really carrying my child, whether i liked it or not, i wouldn't be proud of myself if i was a deadbeat dad. i wasn't raised like that.
my kid won't have to want for nothing. i promise they won't. lyric doesn't know the gender yet or anything but she wanted to do a little gender reveal so she says but she's not entirely sure yet.
baby talk overwhelms me a whole lot but i'm starting to cope with it. but then again what doesn't overwhelm me?
my hands felt tied. there's nothing i could do to go back in time and reverse all this shit, but i had a feeling that "mini me" she was carrying would be a blessing in disguise.
it was heavy on my heart that this baby would truly change the way i am and the way i operate. probably for the better. and i had to learn to be content with that outcome.
i rubbed my tired eyes pulling up on the corner sitting back as i shook the urge of thinking about everything that's been happening, waiting for the customer to come outside.
it was 1:34 am. i been on the block for a good 2 hours now. my pockets were starting to swell thanks to neek loaning me some pills, and a few ounces of weed. it wasn't a lot but it'll get me started to where i need to be.
he apologized for co-signing in the little disagreement about laila so me being me, i forgave my brother, i knew he didn't mean any harm by it, i was just happy he knew that he was wrong. i couldn't speak for the rest of them though, especially jay but that's a whole different issue me and him need to hash out on our own.
