Well, That Was A Thing (Good Omens One-Shots)

5; Yes Ma'am

Context: Based off of "thebean_doodles"/"JollyBean14" (that's their IG and Twitter respectively), Good (w)Omens art since they draw them so freaking adorable!

In which Crowley is the Dowling family's nanny (not Ashtoreth this time) and Aziraphale is their chef. They're both presenting female in this AU, always have been and they both live in the Dowling residence. Human aliases are: Ms. Antoinette J. Crowley and Ms. Ezra Fell.

Word Count: 4,400

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Aziraphale's POV:

"Warlock, sweetheart, get down from the countertop! You'll get hurt!" Yelled the short principality as she turned away from the stove.

This child will discorporate me!

Crowley laughed from the other side of the kitchen. "Relax angel, he's got great balance for a four year old. He'll be fine."

"My dear, I don't care if he is a trapeze master! The last thing I need is the literal spawn of Satan getting hurt while I'm in the general vicinity. Your boss is not exactly the forgiving type, now, is he?" Asked the angel, picking up the child and placing him on the floor. Said child then ran off into the next room, giggling away. For some reason, he found Aziraphale's voice tone funny whenever she was upset or worried.

The demon grimaced at her last sentence, leaning on the countertop. "Let's not get into bosses being forgiving, 'cause I'm still waiting for yours to tell me I Fell because I accidentally got mixed in with all the rest and She couldn't see me. Not because I actually deserved it."

Here we go...

Aziraphale groaned, focusing again on the vegetables she had been chopping before noticing Warlock had climbed onto the island-counter. "Not this again, please. Last night you wouldn't stop saying things about before the Fall. And let me tell you, most of them were childish complaints about the other angels."

Bother, that came out more rude than I intended. Should I apologize? No... She's a demon. And it's not my forgiveness she wants, anyhow...

Crowley and Aziraphale had been living in the Dowling household for four years now. In the beginning, they'd try to keep to themselves to avoid any suspicions from Harriet or the staff. They quickly noticed that no one in the house cared about anyone else, outside of their work. The maids weren't the gossiping type and the butler was very tight-lipped. If it wasn't for the fact that Crowley liked plants and went out into the lawn at random times to enjoy the greenery, you'd think the gardener was nonexistent because he never showed his face. Aziraphale was in charge of anything and everything that had to do with food, save for setting the table and clearing it out afterwards. And Crowley had Warlock to deal with. Really, you wouldn't see anyone wandering around the place unless they had a job to do. Otherwise, they'd stick to their quarters and stay there all hours of the day. Quite boring if the angel was being honest with herself.

Thanks to this, they figured they didn't have to be as cautious as they thought. So every night, without fail, Crowley would go to Aziraphale's quarters for a midnight chat and nightcap. They had their own rooms right next to each other. Within the first week of living there, Crowley noticed the wall they shared had a small door in the far corner, near the windows, which connected the two rooms. Rather than going through the main doors, she'd crawl through the tiny entrance and almost always made Aziraphale jump by sneaking up behind her. You'd think she'd be used to it by now. Anyway, that is how Crowley ended up far too drunk and venting last night on the angel's bed. Much more drunk than usual too, plus, she forgot to sober up before falling asleep (also on the angel's bed, they effectively swapped rooms for the night) and woke up with a hangover. Luckily, she was able to miracle it away before dealing with the screaming child.