Well, That Was A Thing (Good Omens One-Shots)

32; A Love More Precious Than Any Gem

Context: My first proper reverse AU. And let's make it an ineffable wives AU, for good measure. Also, if the characters don't seem like their canon selves, that's intentional.

Azirafell is a demon who cons people out of their hard-earned money by selling them fake jewelry in her free time. Crowley is an angel who likes to volunteer in her free time, whenever she's not out performing miracles. Her usual spot to volunteer at just happens to be next door to Azirafell's jewelry store. Their secret arrangement will certainly come in handy once they learn the end is nigh.

Word Count: 17,000

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"Oh, this one looks lovely. What do you think, Anathema?" Asked the young man, who seemed to like the gaudy, ruby ring the blonde demon was showing off. As far as he knew, all the accessories that Ms. A. Zira Fell was showing off were genuine and not made out of glass, plastics and/or metal. Though, he would never find out about that, because her demonic miracles would ensure they'd never break.

And it's not like she looked like a con-artist to begin with. Azirafell was a chubby, pale, woman-shaped being. Average height when wearing high heels (which she'd wear to bed if they let her), kind blue eyes (contact lenses to conceal her true eyes) and she dressed like a typical 1950's housewife (but in dark colors). The only 'iffy' thing about her was the small tattoo on her right cheek. It was a black silhouette of a gargoyle gecko, her animal form. However, people didn't usually see it, because a few loose strands of blonde curls would cover it. This harmless look was perfect for her unsuspecting customers.

Newton Pulsifer knew he didn't have the best tastes when it came to fashion and jewelry, so he decided to go on the safe side. He proposed, ringless, and brought her to the most expensive jeweler in town so she could pick something she loved. Being a computer engineer paid well, so money wouldn't be an issue. This positively delighted his bride-to-be.

His fiancée, who Azirafell now knew as 'Anathema', tried her best to not look disgusted by the piece of jewelry. "It's nice, but it's not really my style."

Azirafell hummed, snapping the little velvet box shut. "And what, pray tell, would that be?"

"Something, uh, I don't know. Simple! The rock shouldn't be too big." She explained. Anathema hadn't grown up with much, and though part of her loved the fact that she'd never have to worry about money again, her other half was still adjusting to that fact.

The demon grinned. "Interesting. I've never had a bride ask for a smaller stone. Follow me, then. We have more simplified options in this display." She made her way over to the next display case and flicked the little switch underneath, which turned on several lights to make the rings look even shinier than before.

Anathema was impressed, but tried to not make it so obvious. She cleared her throat and kept her gaze on the jewelry. "May I see this one?" She asked, pointing to a small teardrop-cut diamond on a silver band. It was about two times smaller than the one the blonde had been flaunting before.

Azirafell slid it on her finger. "Ooh, perfect fit." Cooed the demon.

Anathema couldn't hold back a tiny smile. "What do you think, Newt?"

Her man joined her at the display case and inspected the ring. He gave a nod. "It looks nice. More 'you' than the first."

"It is, isn't it?" She said, moving her hand to look at it from several angles.

Just then, the bell over the front door signaled the arrival of another potential customer, grabbing Azirafell's attention. And then she noticed who it was, and got a bit excited. She turned towards the happy couple. "I've got all day, so take all the time you need. If you need me, I'll be talking to the redhead in the white romper with sunflowers on it."