~Alan's P.O.V~
I listened to Austin's speech. Justin seemed content and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. I sat there for a moment in complete shock and shook off my boyfriend's hold.
I got to my feet and the two men gave me questioning looks.
I didn't bother to answer them and turned, dashing off the bus.
~~~
I didn't care anymore. I didn't care that Austin would never love me the way I'd always loved him. I didn't care that Justin would begin to panic about me running away. I didn't care about Tino and Phil who would just sigh and shake their heads. I didn't care about anything. I didn't care about me.
I was running, my mind was blank and the night sky was pitch black.
Where was I going? I didn't know. I didn't want to.
Austin was going to act like I didn't fucking exist?
Good, I'd give him the pleasure.
I never wanted to see that asshole again.
~~~
It had been about a week since I'd run away from Of Mice & Men. I was still in whatever fucking state we'd been parked in. I had gotten a cheap motel room and littered the floors with bottles of beers.
I was in bed, crying to myself again. Tears drying up on my skin and my ginger hair was greasy and neglected. Thoughts of Austin circled my mind and I brought up a bottle, throwing it against the wall with a small scream.
"FUCK YOU CARLILE!"
I threw another one.
"I HATE YOU"
Another.
"YOU ALWAYS FUCK ME UP!"
I chocked a bit and sat up, burying my head in my hands.
"Why the hell do I love you so damn much...."
"Maybe because you're an idiot?"
My eyes shot up and I could see the familiar slim figure. Long legs and toned arms meant it could only be one person; Austin.
How had he found me? What was he doing here? Had he seen my little outburst?
Thoughts ran through my head, but I didn't even speak. I really didn't think it was good for me to be seeing him when I was in such a state of mind. I decided he was just a figment of my imagination. My cruel imagination.
"Alan?"
The voice called, but I only smirked bitterly to myself.
"You aren't really there....."
"Yes I am."
"No. I'm just hallucinating. It's the alchohal."
"Ok. If I was fake would I do this?"
I suddenly felt the slight pressure of someone's lips on mine. The sweet taste of mint and smell of axe filled my senses and the room began to spin.
A pair of hands wrapped my waist in a protective hold and I was pushed against the mattress, the slender body moving over my smaller one. Those lips that drove me wild motioned down my neck and I felt a shudder pass through me.
The fingers curled around my hair, tugging it slightly as his mouth crashed to mine again and he stradled me beneath him.
It was too good to be true, but oh god it felt real.
"Alan..."
"Austin....."
~~~
"Alan...."
"Austin....."
"Alan, wake up."
My eyes shot open. My visioned blurred and all I could make out that someone was looking down at me. I let my gaze travel down and instead of the carpet of the motel I could only make out the wooden floors of the tour bus.
Austin wasn't laying on me and there wasn't anyones warm lips on mine.
I had been dreaming.
I sat up in my bunk and scratched the back of my head.
"Good you're awake. We have a set to play in like 20 minutes."
There was that monotone voice, that look of bordem and complete discare about everything.
"Au..Austin..."
"What?"
"Was I sleep talking?"
"Yeah."
"What did I say?"
His dark eyes flicked down to his shoes and then up to mine once more.
"It doesn't matter right now, get your guitar and get backstage."
I watched him disappear into the front lounge and let my head hit the pillow below me. I couldn't imagine what I'd said. I'd freaking dreamed of Austin and I...Oh God. How damn embarassing.
I shut my eyes once more, but felt someone else shake me.
"C'mon babe time for the show!"
Right Justin. I forgot about him. I peeled my eyelids back and shot him a strained smile.
"I'm coming."
He smiled and leaned over to kiss my cheek before disappearing as well.
I had a boyfriend, a perfect boyfriend and I was having provocative dreams about the vocalist of my band?
Gee Alan, get a hold of yourself.
~~~
I played a shit show because well guess what? I felt like shit.
I trudged off stage and then let myself slide against the wall of the empty greenroom. I rested my head against it and sighed.
I needed to forget Austin. Get rid of him, but how? All I did, he was in my head. Everytime I kissed Justin, all I could envision was Austin. I knew I was sort of a selfish asshole for doing this to Justin, but it was like a disease. I was addicted to Austin Carlile.
The door opened slightly and I looked over to see the reason why I hated everyting.
"Hey......Alan....."
"Austin?"
"Well I wanted to talk to you about what you...uh...said in your sleep."
My heart froze. What had I said?
Better yet, what would Austin think of it?
