Whore.

Chapter 24: Hush

"Where were you?"

Swash's voice was cool and collected. But he looked livid. There was something about the combination that was absolutely frightening. I felt too scared to move.

"I had to go see my boyfriend."
"I called you. You ignored it and turned off your cell. I take it you got my voice messages?"

That last part was more of a sentence than a question. I nodded slowly. I didn't want to lie or do anything that could drive him over the edge. For all I knew, he was barely trying to control himself. I thought about what I could do if he physically attacked me. It would barely be a fight.

"So," he said calmly, still burning his stare into my eyes, "Why didn't you call me back?"

I remained silent. I was beginning to feel irritated. Why all the questions? Did he think he owned me or something? I went to see my boyfriend, what more explanation could he want? I tried to keep my face neutral as I looked at him. If I let my annoyance show, who knew what could happen?

"Do you have any idea how worried I was?"
"Really, Swash? I'm twenty years old, not two. Save the paternal crap for Bradley." I somehow finally found my voice. And I needed him to know that I just going to stand here and take the fatherly act he had going on.
"Don't fucking talk to me about Bradley!" He had raised his voice barely a notch, but I felt the rage behind that sentence. My voice was gone again. I could barely manage an indignant look, but combined with the fear I currently felt, I had no idea what my facial expression looked like.

"Do you know that there is more than one way to abuse a child, Michael?"

I looked confused. Where was this coming from all of a sudden? I had never laid a hand on Bradley or any other kid in my life. That's not counting the little fights I got into with my brother when I was a child, but we were both young so that didn't count.

"I'm sorry, Swash, but what are you talking abou-"
"Maybe you still hate me. I can't blame you, I ruined your life. But that doesn't give you the right to take it out on him."
"Swash, what the hell are you-"
"Two hours, Michael. That's how long it took to get Bradley to calm down tonight." He held two fingers up, still glaring at me. I fell silent. This was getting a little too confusing, and he wasn't letting me finish my sentences. Maybe he'll get to the point if I stopped interrupting.

"Bradley says you're chasing him in his dreams now. You and that son of a-" He held back the words. "Tony. You don't tell kids to shove off when they tell you they've had a bad dream, Mike. Jesus Christ, what's wrong with you?"
"Swash, I didn't mean to-"
"Well, you did. And thanks to you, Bradley refuses to go to sleep. You have no idea what I had to deal with yesterday. He kept waking me up. Did you ever think about how he felt when he woke up to find you gone? He blamed himself for hours. Kept saying you left because of him."
"Well, I'm sorry abou-"
"Damn right you're sorry. I'm doing my best to create a loving home for my son. I don't need you screwing it all up. He hasn't smiled even once in the past two days. He barely eats. I had to force him to go to school yesterday, and his teacher said he was acting different." He paused, looking sternly at me. I felt terrible. Who knew just a few words could do so much damage? A knot formed in my chest. Swash's expression seemed to move from angry to serious.

"Michael, I don't need any of this in Bradley's life right now. He's suffered enough already. At this rate, he'll barely have anything left of a self-esteem. Do you know what the nightmares are about? He says everyone hates him and they keep chasing him. You keep chasing him too. So he thinks you hate him. Maybe you do."
"I don't hate him, Swash." I tried to sound calm, but my voice was breaking. "I don't hate you either."
"Bradley needs a stable home. He needs friends, people who care. People who show that they care. I'm doing my best to avoid taking him to a child psychologist, because I don't need him to think I've turned on him too. If you're not going to be a positive influence in his life, get out right now and don't bother coming back."