built memories | a sequel

14 - Again

Playlist:

Delicate by Damien Rice

Whispers Dave Baxter

» honestly i'm so sorry for the wait.. i don't update IN A WEEK, that's kind of a lot right? and now i finally give signal of life with this shitty chapter.. i'm still a bit down with my writing, i still don't think this is good but i appreciate the messages from the last chapter. 
and what about the drama this whole week? shit, two steps forward and 500 behind right larries? man i found myself worrying too much about those crappy tweets and i could make a rant here about it but let's not. it wasn't louis, my louis is sweet, caring and supports lgbt.. that's all 

~*~

It comes the end of the day, on Monday, and Louis hasn't gone to the grocery shop yet and is staying in an empty flat only listening to the noises coming from the half opened window, from outside and making an early dinner, including toasts and tea. Zayn is still at work, he needed to stay longer and Louis didn't mind to take the bus. He is still mad. Really mad and can't stand faking the otherwise around him anymore. Zayn probably noticed that something was wrong but Louis just gave the excuse that he was tired, which was a shitty excuse, come on... It's Monday, it's the day to say I'm just sleepy. So Louis failed. And Zayn understood that he just doesn't want to talk.

Louis finds himself then picturing Harry's flat in his mind. Picturing how his daily life might be nowadays. Louis still doesn't know and now that he had a glimpse of that, he got addicted and wants more, more and more. He wants to know everything even though at the same time he wants to be far away from it. It's still so hard for him.

He can't get used to it but the fact that he slept in the same bed as Harry on Saturday makes him feel things. Miss things, more precisely, made him feel right and all that leads to sadness. But he has no reasons for it now, however his mind quickly got used to Harry's presence and he suddenly wants him by his side like he had, wants to explore and know everything.

People always say it hurts at night and apparently screaming into the pillow at 3am is the romantic equivalent of being heartbroken. And there were times that it was like this, there is still time that it is like this with Louis. Though, he doesn't like to describe it as being heartbroken. Because sometimes it's 6pm on a Monday afternoon and he is standing at the kitchen bench waiting for his toasts to pop out. The smell of dusty sunlight and earl grey tea makes Louis miss having the glow he used to have towards life and he just doesn't know what to do with his hands.

Today is a bit different. He raises his head, stopping to look at his dull blue slippers and decides to stop being like this. The toasts pop out from the toaster but he is fast at ignoring it and pretending he never spent minutes waiting for it. The tea is almost in the temperature he likes to drink but it'll stay in the counter till it gets cold.

He grabs his phone from the pocket from his jacket and dials the number from the name he types.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Harry." Louis' voice is actually soft as if minutes ago he wasn't having his usual fight against his life. It's probably the first time he feels like he had won. "How are you?"

"Very well. What about you?" He hears muffled sounds coming from the other side. He is at home, Louis realises.

"I'm okay." He answers. "Listen, do you, erm, want to do some grocery with me? Zayn is staying at school until late and I really need to go there today. I hate doing it alone." He asks, no fear, voice as firm as he can and it's just bizarre. He should be laughing. Like Harry right now. "It's stupid isn't it?" He laughs nervously, tapping his nails on the counter and chewing his lip. Great Louis, inviting someone to do some grocery is an amazing idea. "Sorry."