Scattered Landmines

fourteen

Too intoxicated to drive myself home, Ben graciously offers to walk me back home. Poppy lives less than a mile from my parent's house, and although we could quickly call an Uber, I would prefer to brave the brisk coolness of winter.

We spend the beginning of our walk in silence. Only the rhythmic pattern of footfalls and the hastening puffs of bitter cold from our stinging lungs can be heard. I walk with short quick movements, keeping my chin locked to my chest and my hands seeded into my pockets but not quite deep enough, hoping that I warm up soon.

I peer at Ben, who appears even colder than I am, and I want to laugh, but I don't. It's also too cold for that. After my body regains some of it's lost warmth, I ask, "Do you live in the city?" In an attempt to take his mind off the brutal assault from the cold.

"Yes, I live above the coffee shop," he says with a husky voice; billowing clouds escape his mouth when he answers.

"That's convenient," I firmly state.

"Most definitely. It has its perks, but I also don't feel like I have an escape from work," Ben drawls. "My work and home life are becoming a blur; the longer I live there. There's no such thing as a day off when you're three meters above your cash cow."

"I can imagine. This is the first time I have ever lived in close enough proximity of walking distance to almost anywhere I need to go, except for work." Our bodies brush together, prompting heat as we descend over a bridge. I don't mind it taking into account the weather.

As the frigid wind hits my face with a fierce intensity, my eyes start to dampen, and my nose begins to burn.

With a prolonged stare, his aquamarine eyes beam through me when I look over at him.

"Do you not walk to work in the mornings? I haven't noticed you in an automobile," he ventures. I like that we are getting to know each other.

"I stop into your shop after I walk my son to school. It's on the way home, and then I drive from the house to work."

Ben's expression becomes more solemn. "Can I be frank with you, Ro?" Shit.

I am not sure I want to hear what he has to say. This is the moment I have been dreading since his invite to the dinner party. Ben is gorgeous, simple, and also interesting. At first glance, I was initially attracted to him, but I can't juggle two men at once. I never could understand how one person can date twenty-five people simultaneously on those dating reality television series. Just the thought of it exhausts me and repels me. I am convinced that The Bachelor doesn't brush his teeth, let alone rinse his mouth out in between kissing different women. How did my mind even end up here?

"Yes," I respond, wondering if he could hear the anguish in my voice.

"Well, being a single father and working seven days a week doesn't allow me to get out and meet new people that often," he sighs and crosses his arms. My stomach drops, "I understand you're new here and don't know many people," he pauses and takes a lingering breath. "Maybe you and I could go out to dinner, drinks, or bowling? Just as mates, of course. I could show you some of the fun things to do in our interesting city."

Relief washes over me, and I am finally able to breathe as Ben reveals that he would like to be friends and nothing more. He said just as mates, right?

"Oh, thank God. I thought for sure you wanted to be more than friends. Well, not in a relationship per se but definitely not just friends," I sigh out of relief and blithely nudge him with my body. "I would love for you to show me your city. My kids fly out the end of next week to see their father, so I will have an unlimited amount of free time in the evenings until they return."