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Half Truths - chapter 12

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Chapter Twelve

Grace has never kissed anyone like this before.

And so then, there comes the whole question of what do you mean, brain? ‘Like this?’

And her attempt to answer feels inadequate, even though she only trying to explain things to her own mind.

However.

Like this could refer to the fact that Hannah is a girl, and all the other people that Grace has kissed (all the other two people) have been boys.

Boys that tried to grab at her hips too early, or seemed to think that passionate automatically meant more tongue, and Grace hadn’t really enjoyed either experience. She acknowledges that two isn’t a very large sample group, and that maybe there are maybe boys out there who are good kissers; this seems entirely probable.

Grace decides that she wouldn’t mind Hannah grabbing at her hips, but that is probably because Hannah doesn’t seem at all pre-occupied with anything other than kissing her. The lack of urgency is making Grace feel more urgent, if that even comes close to making sense.

Hannah kisses her as though she could kiss her all day. Which would be crazy, and an entirely ridiculous thing to aim for, and also rather lovely.

Another like this could be referring to the way that Grace is feeling, while she kisses Hannah back.

Which is, to be precise, not worried.

All of her other kissing experiences had been stressful, some how. Grace’s overwhelming memories were linked to panic, and the worry that she was doing it wrong somehow, or concern about what a person is supposed to say when the kissing finishes.

There was a time when Grace thought that maybe she wasn’t made for kissing, because everything she had experienced was a direct clash with everything that she had learned; namely that kissing was supposed to befun, and make you feel good.

Grace does feel good.

Her hand wanders over towards Hannah’s of its own volition, and when their fingers touch, Hannah wraps her hand around Grace, before linking their fingers together.

It’s almost too much, and Grace very nearly makes a sound in the back of her throat.

Another like this could be the feeling of secrecy that surrounds them. And Grace knows that she is the one who needs things to be private, but it doesn’t stop her from wishing otherwise.

Although it does add a certain… excitement, Grace decides to call it.

She isn’t thinking clearly at all.

Hannah leans away from the kiss, for a moment, and blinks at her, with lips that are still parted and look on their way to being swollen.

“Good view.”

Grace is inclined to agree. She wonders if her mouth looks like that.

“Yeah.”

There’s a moment of tension, and then it is Grace who crashes forward, because fuck it, fuck it, she needs Hannah to know that she is into this.

Their mouths meet harder this time, and Grace reaches a hand up, tracing up Hannah’s jaw before curling around the nape of her neck, pulling her closer.

Hannah grunts in surprise, before moaning slightly, and Grace is chasing that, because that reaction, that reaction, is why she thinks she wants to kiss Hannah, is what she has been thinking about all damn week.