Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
THIRTY SIX | TRAUMA AND THE TENDERNESS THAT FOLLOWS
__________
let yourself be softened.
-mathilda // mary shelley
Trigger Warning: strong mention/description of sexual assault
__________
"What the hell happened to your hand?"
Wincing, Jackie looked down at her left hand. Her knuckles were split from throwing the punch a little too carelessly. Careless being the key-word there. She hadn't cared about where and how her fist landed. She just wanted it to hit Eddie somewhere. That's what the bastard deserved.
"Eddie grabbed my ass," Jackie said quietly, bluntly.
Robin stared at her, gaping. "Shit! Are you okay?"
A mother with two children shot Robin an aghast look. Robin just rolled her eyes and kept her focus on Jackie.
"I mean it. Are you okay?"
"I quit," Jackie said. "So, like, no, I guess. I mean, I really enjoyed working there, talking to people about music and stuff, but... I just couldn't do it. Not after that."
Robin nodded, understandingly. "I'm sorry."
Jackie just tried to force a smile. She didn't want to dwell on it, to think about his hands on her ass. She didn't want to think about him pushing her against the wall, his breath hot on her neck. She didn't even want to think about how Steve would react when she told him. He would freak out, and try to destroy Eddie's car or something.
"Steve's grabbing us lunch right now from the food court," Robin said. "You can wait for him in the break room if you want."
Jackie sniffed sharply and nodded. "Thanks."
A look of hesitation dashed across Robin's face, but then her hand shot out and grabbed Jackie's, squeezing tightly with an accompanying soft smile. "Any time."
One of Steve's sweatshirts was hanging over the back of one of the chairs. Pursing her lips, Jackie sat down and pulled it on, throwing the hood on top of her head. Lips trembling, she buried her face into her arms and did everything in her power to not cry. Sometimes, though, willpower wasn't enough. Tears spilled and soaked into the arms of Steve's maroon zip-up.
"What the fuck?"
She hadn't even heard the door open. Steve was standing in the doorway, hazel eyes blazing, and a takeout box of what smelt like chicken lo mein in hand. Sniffling, Jackie pulled the sleeve over her hand and swiped at her eyes. Steve said nothing more. He shut the door behind him and pulled her into a hug.
"What happened? In his embrace, comforted by the strong arms around her, Jackie broke down. She heaved a sob into his chest and grasped at the back of his uniform. "Babe, I need you to talk to me." Steve sounded panicked now. "Please, I need you to tell me what happened."
Jackie sniffed sharply and corded her arms around his back, squeezing tight. "Eddie," she mumbled. "He— He—"
She couldn't even say it to him. Steve's arms went stiff around her.
"I'm gonna kill him."
"I don't want you to go to jail," Jackie wailed.
Because she knew he would. Steve wasn't a violent person. Sure, he'd been in two fights, but he wasn't violent. He wasn't full of anger and hatred. But, he did love her. And he would do anything for the people he loved.
"I mean it, Steve," she said. She flexed her injured hand behind his back and pulled back, frowning. The fear of Steve doing something stupid was enough to calm her. For the time being. "He's not worth it. And, I quit, so."
Eyebrows knit together, Steve stared at her. He frowned deeply, lines etching themselves into his face. "You shouldn't have had to quit because he's a creep."
Jackie laughed hollowly. "Tell me about it."
"Okay." Steve stood and licked his lips. "Come on, I'm bringing you home."
"Steve. You have work."
"Oh, screw work. You're more important. Come on."
Jackie swiped her hands under her eyes again and shook her head. "No. Just— Steve, just let me stay here and then we can go, okay?"
He sighed heavily and pushed the box of takeout towards her. "This is for you, by the way. I'm gonna go get you a drink."
[ ... ]
The day dragged by slowly, and Jackie was beginning to wish she'd let Steve bring her home. They'd driven in together this morning, so she wasn't even able to go home in her own car. An hour ago, Robin had walked in tenderly, holding a large cup of vanilla soft serve, absolutely covered in rainbow sprinkles. Jackie had only been able to eat about half of it, but the sentiment was more than appreciated. Now, it was just milk with sprinkles floating in it. Groaning, Jackie shoved it to the side and leaned back. This was what her summer would be now. A whole lot of nothing.
"Let's go, babe."
"Don't you have, like, forty minutes left?"
"Robin said she'd take care of it so that I can get you home."
Jackie didn't have it in her to argue. She just wanted to sleep. Almost blindly, she let Steve lead her out of the break room and paused only to mumble a quick 'thank you' to Robin.
"My parents are gone if you want to go to mine," Steve said quietly once they got into his car.
"That's fine," Jackie muttered, pulling at a loose string on her shorts. "Peggy's home tonight anyway, and I don't want to talk about it with her right now."
Steve faltered, pulled his hand away from the gear, and turned to look at her. "You know you're gonna have to, right?"
Jackie nodded. "I don't want to right now, Steve!" She sighed and ran a hand over her face. "I'm sorry. I just— Can we just go? Please?"
____________________
This chapter was a fucking doozy, but it was where I've been planning to go for a while. Let me know your thoughts on this, and how you think it'll affect everything in the season! How'd we like Jackie and Robin's interactions?
