Bad Romance // camren

chapter 50

We're over

We're over

We're over.

Repeated in Camila's mind as she stared up at her room ceiling. She had been crying none stop and the last place she wanted to be was at her own house.

Lauren's face kept a clear image in Camila's head. She was so vulnerable, and torn down.

Camila picked up her cell phone, dialing Lauren's number only to be sent to voicemail.

Is this what pain felt like? Like dying over and over.

"Mila?" Ally entered quietly.

Camila didn't bother to reply.

"Baby..." Ally crawled in the bed next to Camila.

Camila couldn't help but hold Ally and cry into her chest. "It fucking hurts Ally!"

"I know, I know." Ally rubbed her arm soothingly, trying to comfort her in anyway.

"Make it stop!" Camila yelled over and over.

Camila knew this was all her fault. Why did Austin capture her attention? No one knows.

But the question is; why didn't she love Lauren back?

Camila always thought she loved Lauren. She still thinks so. But what if she doesn't? What if she was in love with the thought of being in love- or the thought of Lauren loving her.

"Ally... I do love her." Camila spoke quietly.

"I know Camila. But Lauren just needs time to think right now, you both do."

"But what's there to think about Ally? There's no more us! We're over! Did you not hear her!" Camila yelled.

The stages of the break up were getting to her. She was in the anger stage.

"Why? Who the hell does she think she is?!" Camila angrily throw her pillow across the room.

"Woah Camila, slow down-" Ally tried to say.

"And that I don't love her? Bullshit!" Camila yelled throwing another object, breaking something.

"I love her." Camila said quietly again break down into tears. She was emotionally unstable right now. Any moment she could snap.

"It hurts.." Camila said again. She picked up her phone.

"What are you doing?" Ally asked.

"Calling her."

"But you know she won't answer."

Ally was right. Again Lauren didn't listen.

"Drive me up to her house." Camila said fast.

"What?" Ally scrunched up eyebrows.

"Drive me there." Camila repeated. "Now."

"No Camila." Ally sighed. "You need to let this go."

Camila shook her head not believing what her best friend just said. She quickly took off out her room.

"Camila!" She heard ally yell from the distance.

She was running to Lauren's apartment. Lauren lived far but not too far (only if you drive). It would take Camila a good 20 minutes if she walked- roughly 15 if she ran.

She quickly found Lauren's apartment number. She started banging on it. She knew Lauren was there, she saw her car parked out side.

"Lauren! Open up!" Camila yelled. "I know you're in there!" She waited but still no one came. "I'm not leaving until you talk to me!" She sighed, "Lauren... Please hear me out, I'm so sorry. You have to listen!" Camila continued to yell through the door.

She placed her fist against the door, then her forehead, and uncontrollably sobbed on her front step. "I fucking love you Lauren Jauregui! Okay? I fucking love you! If you expect me to give up on you then you're dead wrong! When I'm alone, I think of how much I miss you. And it hurts. It hurts so much. I can't stop loving you just like that. It's not that easy."

Everything was just silence expect the short breaths Camila took every time she talked.

"I've been busting my ass for months for you Lauren! And I finally had you! But I let you slip away. I want to pull a trigger to my head right now. But I can't. Because if I die, I know you won't be there with me. I want to be with you Lauren!" She still talked to the motionless door. Not even creak was made from the other side. "I'm not leaving Lauren. I'll sit here and cry until you hold me again." Camila's whole face was red. "I miss you already. Knowing I don't have you anymore is killing me! It's tearing me apart. Why do you have so much affect on me Lauren? Why?!"

Camila continued banging and weeping at the door.

Lauren heard every single word Camila had been saying. But that didn't stop her tears either. Instead she slowly walked to door and stared at it.

She put her hands on the door along with her forehead. Same spot as Camila. If you removed the door, the two would be touching like a mirrored image.

Tears fell off both of their cheeks as Camila kept talking.

"Open the door Lauren. I know you're right there." Camila spoke softly.

Lauren's breathe hitched. She reached for the door handle ready to face her love... But she took her hand off, walking away from the door.