Help Me Be Me

Chapter 17

Avan's POV

Gosh this was going way to much. Zoey wouldn't stop talking about a subject related to the baby in a way.

It wasn't only making me uncomfortable, but it also was making Liz slightly more uncomfortable.

And jealous lets say.

She kept fake smiling from what I saw from the corner of my eyes.

I don't know, I just couldn't look straight at her. I felt really embarrassed of the fact that I didn't tell anything about that night and mostly because I even lied to her face about it when I promised her that I'll tell her everything, that night.

This was going so complicated.

I was drowned in thoughts again, when I heard Liz's fist touching the table, hard enough to get our attention and stop Zoey from talking, as she got up and got out of the building right after she quickly looked at me in the eyes.

I could see a lot in there.

A look of shame, a look of disappointment, a look that was saying 'I wasn't expecting you to do nothing' and a lot more.

I could feel how hard it was for her to just sit here.

Specially now that I knew she was in love with me as well.

And you know what was hard for me?The whole situation.

That I loved her a lot and I knew she did love me back but just the time I was going to tell her I heard the news of my girlfriend being pregnant meaning I couldn't end the relationship with her, and all the events that I knew that happened, every single detail, but I should have hide.

I had a lot more in my head than Liz.

But what was hard for her was that she didn't know I love her and she is now aware of my girlfriend being pregnant news.

I'm not going to be ungrateful but this baby was never something I wanted to come.

"Why did she acted that way?" Zoey said still looking the way Liz went.

"Perhaps she doesn't feel alright," I stopped not sure about what I wanted to do but finally decided on that, "I'm gonna go check on her."

I got up from the white charm sit and started walking toward the entrance.

Just when I was about to go outside I heard her talking to herself. I know I shouldn't listen to her but I wanted to know what was going on inside her head.

So I just listened.

"What is really wrong with me? Why can't I control myself? Ughh." She groaned.

"I'm not me anymore." she continued and I kept listening from behind the wall, "Liz has no need to be loved. Or love someone." True.

"But now I feel like a weird, annoying third wheel."

I wanted to go to her and hug her and let her know that she is the first ever wheel. But I couldn't.

"Only if you knew I love you." She mumbled and sighed.

I know Liz. I know. The one who doesn't know is you.

And it's my fault.

I finally stepped forward to go to her. I've heard enough.

"Liz." I called her and she turned around and was shocked to see me.

And scared.

"You didn't heard, did you?" She asked fast.

I wanted to say yes. Yes I heard. I heard everything. I even knew everything before.

But I had a strong annoyance in my brain which was blocking me from telling the truth. To her.

"Heard what?" Dang it!

"Oh, nothing." She let out a sigh of relief.

"What happened in there?" Now this was the stupidest question ever.

I knew what happened.

"Em, it's just nothing. I-I felt like I needed some air."

"Liz," I walked closer to her but not too close, "you okay?"

She kept the silence for 10 second before breaking it.

"Why?" She said.

"Well you said you need air and-"

"No! I don't mean that." She stated which made me confused.

I gave her a confused look so she'd explain, and she did, "Why did you avoid looking at me? Why didn't you talk to me in there?" She asked as she avoided looking at me.

Oh God, she sounded really sad.

I opened my mouth to say something but shut it from having no words to let out.

Again, I was speechless. And I had a lot to hide which was starting to bug me so bad.

"You're not gonna talk?" She asked, making me look down.

"Liz, it's nothing. It's just that I can't get over the fact that I'm going to be a father." I finally said something, "and I feel embarrassed." I whispered in a way so she won't hear.

"Why are you embarrassed?" She heard and she was now concerned.

Of you. Of looking in your eyes.

It was the right thing to let out. But instead I just said I didn't know.

And this was sooo wrong.

"Don't feel embarrassed. You are having a baby with the love of your life. I see no reason for you to be upset." She talked and I could see she was getting uncomfortable.

And it was the deal.

I wasn't having a baby with the love of my life.

Zoey is not the one. She was. And I was standing right in front of her, lying so bad.

"Okay." I let out a sigh as she pulled me into a hug.

It felt so right. So true.

But it was bad because it was going to end soon. And it was taking a piece of my heart again when it was going to go. Like every other time.

It was a awkward silence occurring between us, which was also really good.

We were looking at each other's eyes, smiling widely.

She looked so beautiful.

"We better go inside." She broke the silence, I never wanted to end.

"Yeah. Come on." I nodded and we walked back inside.

Why couldn't this be happening forever? Why it was really hard for us both to talk our feelings?

I need her. That's the summary of the whole story.

A.N/ Once again I had struggles starting this. I took a break when I wanted to write this and my whole imagination was gone when I came back. But today I finally started it and wrote it and ended the chapter.
What do you think? Any suggestions? Feel free to comment down and be sure I'll read them all and answer to the most.
Also I'll appreciate if you add this to your reading list so more people will read it. Thank you, if you do it.
Bye, until the next weeks chapter.

1125 words