In These White Halls

|• chapter - 37 •|

Pain.

All I could feel was pain. My whole body was numb yet sore but that was it. I could only feel and not move. My eyes and my lips were sealed shut and no matter how hard I tried to move them or any other part of my body I couldn't. 

"I love you."

"Please be okay. Dont leave me Annaya."

"I'm so sorry."

I could hear him, I knew it was him but I couldn't answer him back. I didn't have the energy to do anything. Just like that, I fell back into darkness.
Time passed and all I could do was try to look in the darkness that surrounded me while trying to escape it but I felt imprisoned in it. Voice of my parents, their cries and their touch gave me little hope, assurance and strength to fight this. With all my might and every ounce of energy I had, I forced my eyes to open just a bit, just enough for me to see him and to tell him that I'm okay.

It felt like I was picking a truck up on my shoulder, a heavy weight was being lifted and just like that, fragments of light invited themselves into my eyes.The bright light made me wince as I  grabbed or atleast tried to grab whatever was near me. The touch sent a slight shiver but I was sure it was his hand that i had grabbed. I felt it slipping out but I didn't have the energy to hold onto it. "You'll be okay. I'm sorry, I love you you don't worry, you'll be okay." He whispered and before I knew it, it was gone, the warmth, the shiver, all of it. A cry, a question both heard as I squinted through the brightly lit room to peek at who was near me. My throat so dry, I felt cactus grew in it.

A small figure stood beside me, holding my hand into her own soft and warm ones as the other, a bit taller stood at the door calling someone. All the voices and actions were blurry for the first few minutes before I could see a little clearly.

"Annaya? You're ok!" I heard a squeaky soft voice and I knew who it was but then the warmth of those hands and those voices went away as cold ones replaced them.

"Annaya, I'm Dr.Hassan and I want you to open your eyes. Can you do that, please?" Dr. Hassan asked and I followed. I opened my eyes as he pointed the brightly lit torch at my eyes. Dr. Hassan was here which meant I was in my hospital.

"Okay Annaya you did good. Now can you tell me if you feel pain or anything when I ask?" He asked again and I nodded.

With that he pressed on my feet, near my knee, on my hand and at different places to check for sensation.

"I felt all of them Dr. Hassan, don't worry, didn't lose sensation." I replied assuming I was looking at him. My vision was still blurry. He chuckled and gave me a glass of water which I quickly drank in one gulp.

"Well, looks like you're back and all fine so when are you starting work again?" He joked and we both laughed.

"Nurse, please put in the eye drops so that our Annaya could see properly." He said and bidding his goodbye, he left.

The drops worked magic and soon enough I was able to look around clearly. Mom and dad came in and well after a lot of crying and lecturing and exchange of I love you's they left telling me to take care of myself. Armaan bhai and mani came in too and well, me and mani hugged each other for the longest time possible. Armaan bhai gave me a lecture about being so secretive and I qoute, "Do you see where your heroism got you Annaya? Why didn't you tell me? Huh? And mani? You didn't bother telling me too? God you both are idiots ugh!" He sighed and both me and mani burst out laughing. We all laughed and joked around for a while before mani and Armaan bhai left too.

I waited for someone else to come but nobody did so I slept, trying not to be sad over it.

S H E H R Y A R

Upon seeing Armaan come out of the room with Manaal bhaabi, I got up and turned around the corner, hiding. I really wasn't in the mood to talk him or bhaabi. I was worried about Annaya and right now, the last thing I wanted to do was talk to anybody but her.

Sighing I sat on the bench nearby and closed my eyes. Annaya's face flashed in my mind, how happy she was, our little moments that she probably wouldn't have notice or the way she smiled, blushed and gave sarcastic replies. I loved how she always talked to babies whenever she was upset or stressed about her problems. I really love her and I want to tell her this, face to face but not after what Hamza did. I can't. She was in danger because of my brother, my half brother.

Nobody other than my family knew about Hamza being adopted. It was a misunderstanding and yes growing up there were a number of problems but we still loved him and to think that he would possibly do something like this was crazy. We really trusted him so much to not have seen this coming. Now that I think about it, there were many red flags along the way which we ignored, all in the name of love and family bond.

Anger coursed through me as I replayed how he hurt Annaya and what he did to her. All I wanted was to make him but more than that, more than anything in the world I wanted to hold my Annaya in my hands. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her and how I regretted not being there for her. I wanted to be angry at her for pushing me away, for risking her life and for not being here with me.

Seconds passed by as I thought about her and with great determination I turned around and marched to the room Annaya was currently in. To say my heart was beating fast would be an understatement because I was afraid it might just burst any second. With sweaty hands I clamped the door handle and turned it opening the door to let myself in.

I didn't know what to say to her, what to do, how to behave and how to not hug her and scream I love you to her.

Her small body layed on the bed, huddled in the white blanket at a side. I checked her vitals and the reports to see if there was anything wrong but alhumdulilah there wasn't.  I walked around the bed to reach the other side and found her sleeping. Her black, chocolatey locks were spread around her shoulders as her beautiful eyes remained closed.

I dragged the chair to the side she was facing and sat there staring at her beautiful face.

"I'm so sorry Annaya I want these. I wish is was, but I wasn't. Please forgive me." I whispered so as to not disturb her sleep. She needs the rest. She really does.

"I'm going to go away. I'll go away I promise. You won't ever have to see me or even talk to me, ever again and it's okay. It really is okay." I whispered as my voice broke and before I knew it, I felt the hot tears streaking down my face.

She looked so sad. A small, almost unnoticeable frown was etched to her face and crease formed on her forehead. Oh how I wish to remove all the sadness and hurt she had.

I kissed her forehead and held her hand in mine.

"I love you Annaya. I love you more than anything. I will always love you." I croaked and wiped my tears as they were blurring my vision. I only wanted to look at her right now.

I lowered my head near her and closed my eyes, ravishing this moment where she was close to me, even if it was for the last time. 

I don't know when but somewhere between this I drifted off to my peaceful sleep.

Yes leaving it here on a good note. Also I hope you guys dont kill me for the next few chapters but I'm sure you'll enjoy them!

Once again sorry for the late update, really had some things going on and I wasn't able to focus on this at all.

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Allah Hafiz,
Badkitten146