In These White Halls

•CHAPTER 5 •

I shouted at the top of my lungs, calling for Mom to come and help me.
"What is the matter with you ? Why are you shouting ? " She asked angrily. "I can't find my watch, please help me find it." I said in the most nuetral tone possible trying to keep my irritation at bay but instead of finding my watch, mommy dearest began lecturing me and I was starting to become irritated by the fact that now that she's come, instead of helping me find my stupid watch, she was giving me a lecture ?! Like great. That's exactly what I needed.

I rolled my eyes at her and started rummaging through my drawers in hopes of finding my watch. That watch wasn't just any watch, it was kind of my good luck watch, I mean I can't do anything without it. It's like my lucky charm or that thing that gives you super powers, like the ring in Green lantern or the locket that Sofia had in 'sofia the first'. It makes me feel confident and as dumb as that sounds, human psychi works that way. You need something to depend on when things go good or bad and since it can't be people as they never stay so it has to be an object and a lot of people have such things. 

My watch is lucky for me because it's been through hell with me and I've had it with me since medical school. Finally I found my watch and wrapping it around my wrist I sprang to my car, out of my house, shouting a goodbye because I would get late if I didn't move now .-.

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Stuck in a jam, I was waiting for the car in front of me to move but it didn't. After honking for the umpteenth time, scowling I got out of my car and without looking at the driver I began "are you deaf ? I've been honking this whole time for you to move your stupid car so that others could- " and my breath got caught in my throat. Damn it, I cursed myself for being this stupid. Why ? Why God ? Why did it have to be him ? Muttering a small sorry, I quickly turned, rushing back to my safe haven, my car.

I hit my head on the steering wheel repeatedly, sitting in the parking lot, cursing myself for my stupid behaviour and lack of seeing others before unleashing my rage on them. I wanted to cry and just crawl in a hole and never come out, what will I do ? I'm so embarrassed, I feel like dying right now and it all had to be infornt of him ? Oh the great dragon ! Why couldn't it have been anyone else ? Anyone besides dr.shehryar ? And I pinched my eyes closed at the thought of him kicking me out. Great !

After waiting in my car for 15 minutes straight, my conscience finally decided to greet me.
Now there's no use sitting here is it ? Come on get up and go before that 0.00001 % chance of you not getting kicked out finishes too,my conscience spoke to me.
But what if he kills me ? I asked my conscience that seems to always go quiet when I need it the most.
He won't. My conscience assured me and went away.
Taking a deep breath, I took my things and walked to the hospital building, praying at every step that this day won't be my last.

I decided to avoid Dr.shehryar at all costs. That was my mission today, and I prayed to succeed in it and with that I continued to do my work. 

Okay...I thought while assessing the scans of Ms. Anum, my patient today. Her tumor wasn't that complicated and was an easy work but the main problem wasn't the tumor, no, it was me going to dr.shehryar with my patient. I don't want to but it seems like I don't really have a choice.

Walking towards Dr.khan's office I stopped when I spotted dr.hassan near the nurse station. Like a train, the idea of Dr Hassan helping me, hit me and after contemplating on that idea for a few seconds, I ran off to Dr Hassan and asked him to help me. He being the good doctor he is, gladly accepted to help me and my patient. Thank you, God ! I whispered thinking that Allah would hear me.

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Working in this hospital and being in this theatre for more time than I can count, I finally feel relaxed standing here, as if this is where I'm meant to be. This is what I've worked hard for and this is what I'm still working for. This is the whole dream, isn't it ? It is.