Be Mine

// t w e n t y //

:: chapter twenty ::

Like these past days for almost a week he was there standing looking up at her dark windows. The wind would blow, the night would deepened and his heart would sunk in great pain but he will be still there standing and looking longingly at her dark windows, knowing she was there behind those heavy curtains. It was breaking him not seeing her, it felt like each seconds his soul was deteriorating into nothingness, he felt like his breath were numbered. He felt like dying, and it was the most painful death. His hand unknowingly went to his throat as he felt  a lump slowly formed in his throat, which was suffocating him slowly.

Guilt. He tightly shut his eyes as he remembered what that lump was. It was guilt and in every seconds of it was assuring his death. He fluttered his eyes open as he stared at her windows, there was never a time in which he wanted to go back to the past. He never cared about the past for he knew it was something that no one can change nor edit it was something that can only be accepted. But now, he felt like the past was so hard to accept, he felt a strong surge inside him wanting to change the past, wanted to make it right. But he knew it was nothing but a wishful thinking a ridiculous idea, something that even in his dream would never be done.

‘Dara,’ her name escaped his lips as it vanished with the cold night breeze. He missed her, he missed her so much that he felt every inch of him was dying to see her, to hold her, to kiss her and to tell her how much he cherished her. And in that cold silence as he hear his heart shatter to pieces, his phone vibrated in his pocket. For a week now like him his phone felt like dead, useless but then it vibrated. He quickly pulled it out of his pocket as he flipped it open only to see an unregistered number. He wondered who it was but in his heart, he was praying it was her. With heart pounding erratically in his chest, he pressed the answer button and pressed it on his ear. He didn’t say anything instead he waited for the caller to speak.

‘Ji...’ she said with her voice still sounding angelic, still beautiful that he felt like his body just numbed out of happiness and the only thing that was left to him was his heart that was beating crazily inside his chest. ‘Babe...’ he answered almost stuttering. He heard her giggled a bit and hearing it everything felt surreal. ‘I miss you...’ she said as he felt like a surge of emotions overflowed in his chest that he involuntarily clutched his chest. ‘I miss you more,’ he answered with a voice trying to stay firm, trying to not stutter in front of all the heightening emotions he was now feeling.

‘Where are you?’ she asked as he kept his eyes on her window. ‘In front of your house,’ he answered unknowingly clutching his chest as if he could stop his heart from its rampage inside his chest knowing that in seconds she will open her heavy curtains and he will see her. And the moment he waited happened she did open her curtains as she gave him a small wave and a faint smile. He waved back at her like someone who has been forever waiting in the old train station for the arrival of his long lost love. He had his arm high as he waved like a child excited for his mother’s arrival.

‘Our flight...’ she trailed off as she heaved a sigh and as her words made him numbed in his place gripping tightly at his black phone. ‘...will be tomorrow, five in the morning,’ she continues weakly as he felt his energy went straight to the drain. He tried lifting his arm to look at his watch but it felt like his insides were all mess up that his arm won’t follow his brain’s damn commands. He forced himself as he pushed the lump away from his throat. He was successful this time but when he saw his arm he stiffened in place, he was shaking... he was shaking terribly, he can see it, and it was something he never thought he would see in him. He stared at his watch. One o’clock it says and he doesn’t need to be a damn genius to know that he only has four hours.