Momentum (Completed)

Chapter Twenty Seven: Up In Flames

(Lyra)

There were so many memories in here...

I wasn't sure how long ago we'd stopped traveling, nor did I care to know. My only desire was to sit on this bed for the rest of my life, holding the limp owl in my arms and ignoring the old, familiar items in this room. They felt like relics, ancient artifacts that held realities of my old life, one I'd never experience again and were better left forgotten.

I looked down at the bird in my arms blankly, stroking it in a routine, unending motion, as I had done tens of thousands of times since we'd been reunited. Felix was sitting on my bed next to me, touching me occasionally, but generally left me alone. At the back of mind, I was aware that my return to what was once home to me had been met with a warm welcome. I didn't understand how they could be so happy; even as I sat here petting the owl, I felt nothing - not happiness, not fear, not sadness, not even anger or bitterness toward the people that has caused this. My emotions had all but died.

How they could be happy made no sense to me.

'Perphaps you are simply looking on the negative side of things?' A painfully familiar voice rang in my head. Without thinking, I looked up and saw him. It was without a doubt the very owl I was holding, but he was misty, like a cloud, and when I tried to touch him, he disapperated like smoke before re-forming the shape of a bird. It was like the wound that had numbed up had been ripped open again, flooding my heart with fresh agony.

"Dolo-" I started to whisper, but his voice cut me off.

'Do not say my name.' His expression was kind. ' I can see it hurts you.' I moaned and buried my head into my knees. I had gone insane. There was no other option. He was dead. I had seen him die. I had seen the light leave his eyes. I had felt the pain when his soul was ripped apart from mine. I had heard his final words. 'I knew you would feel that way,' he commented. I didn't react to his words; I was waiting for my mind to get rid of the mirage.

I waited for at least five minutes before daring to look up, and was dismayed to see that the ghostly image hadn't budged. "Leave me alone!" I screeched at him.  He seemed to sigh.

'Lyra, you may choose to not believe I am here, and I have no objection about that. I will take my leave for the time being, but please get rid of my body. The sooner you do not have to cling to it for comfort, the sooner your recvoery will begin.' When I looked at the space he had been occupying again, there was nothing. It was as if he'd vanished into thin air.

I wasn't sure how much time passed when a loud sound started coming from the dooway, but Felix rose and made his way over to it. No sooner had he opened the door, he was shoved aside by whoever entered the room.

 "Lyra..." Lexio breathed. I just continued to stroke the owl in my arms, not making eye contact with him. He exchanged some brief conversation with Felix, but I wasn't really listening - I didn't care. The bed I was sitting on shifted as someone joined me. "Lyra," Lexio's voice said again, "I'm so glad you're alright, I was so worr-"

"I'm not alright," I whispered. I could imagine the forced smile his face would be wearing as he spoke his next words.

"You're alive, aren't you? You should consider yourself lucky." I said nothing; I just stroked the bird lying limp in my arms. My face was ripped away from the owl and forced to make contact with Lexio's eyes as he held my chin in his hands gently. "Lyra, look at me," he whispered. "I've missed you. The entire camp has missed you." I still said nothing, so he continued, "We've missed you just as much as you miss Dolosus."

Hearing his name again sent fresh waves of agony through my entire body; I couldn't even think his name, let alone say it. A sound very similar to the noise I had made when... he... had first been killed tore from between my lips and I ripped my head out of Lexio's hands, to bury it in my own. Felix was by my side in an instant, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and hushing me gently.