Childhood Lovers

Childhood Lovers. 20

Love, Chase.

PS - I love you so incredibly much.

By now, I was in full fledge tears. The guilt was overwhelming. Chase was blaming himself, but I was the true villain. He was so unaware of the damage I had done. Was this my punishment? Karma coming around and biting me in the ass? Giving me such an amazing, kind, incredible boyfriend to torture me because I was such a shitty and heartless girlfriend?

The sobs wouldn't stop; the whimpers were too loud to control.

"What's going on?" My mother bursted in, as a result of the loud noise I was making. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Just go away, Mom! You wouldn't understand!"

"Hayden, I'm sorry," my mom said, sitting on the edge of my bed. "I'm all ears."

"Yeah now you are, but tomorrow you wont! Tomorrow you'll be out with Rebecca and John and Dad, taking care of either medical stuff or bonding with them! Well you know what, I'm sick of feeling neglected by you guys! And I know Chase is too! Did you guys ever think that maybe Chase needs his father most right now?"

My mother looked hurt. "We had no idea you guys felt that way. We thought you wanted to be left alone, parent-free, and on your own."

"Well maybe you should think again," I said, regaining myself to some degree. My sadness about Chase had turned into anger about my parents. "I understand when your outings are cancer-related, but otherwise, I don't see why you guys can't set aside a day or two for Chase and I. Look, I don't want to talk anymore, I've got something else to do."

Before my mother could say anything else, I left my bedroom. Heading into John's office, I pulled out a piece of paper and an envelope. I began writing my heart away.

Letter 6 - July 2010

Dear Chase,

Please do not blame yourself. This wasn't your fault, it was mine. I reacted badly, and turned into something I'm not. After the fight, I lost it, and completely forgot what you were going through. I went outside, needing fresh air, and Tyler was sitting on the front steps. He hadn't left yet. So acting irrationally, I told him to take me away somewhere. So he did, and we drove to some random place. He listened to my problems, and then, I kissed him. I was just so angry and upset, and I wasn't thinking clearly. Soon after, Tyler helped me realize I only did it because I wanted my revenge on you, for making me feel so shitty. Words cannot describe the guilt I feel right now. I feel disgusting, vile, and cruel. When I got home, I saw all the letters you had saved from when we were kids. They all reminded me of how lucky I am to have such an amazing boyfriend. But then, how bitchy I am to go cheat on my amazing boyfriend. I understand if you want to break up, because I don't deserve a great guy like you. And I know that I have to take the consequences of my actions. I just want you to know that I regret it entirely, because I really do love you. But in life, we make mistakes and we have to learn from them.

Love, Hayden.

 

Tears dropped onto the letter as I folded it up and slipped it into the envelope. As much as it hurt, I knew I was doing the right thing. Walking towards his bedroom, I slipped the letter under his door. Before leaving, I heard Rebecca calming speaking to Chase, apologizing for their absence. Thanks Mom, I thought.

Probably the hardest part about sending my explanation in a letterform was not getting an immediate reaction. I would have to wait until tomorrow morning to find out I had lost the greatest thing in my life. As hard as it was, I finally managed to fall asleep. It was weird sleeping in my own bed; not on the couch with Chase, not in Chase's bed. But I was going to have to get used to it, seeing as I had half a summer left without Chase.

"Hey Ace," Chase whispered. "Move over."

I was too asleep to realize what was happening under the circumstances. Rolling over onto my side, Chase slipped under the covers with me. He let me rest my head on his chest.

"So I got your letter," he whispered. Groggily nodding, I started to wake up slightly.

"Are you mad?" I asked.

"More just disappointed."

"Aw man, that's even worse!" I exclaimed, in a half asleep voice.

"Look, I'm willing to forgive but not forget. It's your turn to walk in my shoes. You're going to have to win my trust back, prove yourself, just like I had to. Prove that you love me, not Tyler. What kind of person would I be if you gave me a second chance, but I didn't give you one."

Tears started streaming down my cheek. "Thank you."

He lightly kissed my tear streaked face. "You're welcome. By the way, Rebecca knows about us. She said she wasn't very surprised."

I let out a light giggle, before falling asleep, tight in Chase's embrace.

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happy 20th chapter anniversary! lawlz. i hope everyone who celebrated had a good thanks giving! i. anyway thanks for the awesome feedback last chapter! lets do that again! so comment, vote, tweet and like! i seriously want to know what you all are thinking, because it definitely helps me write aswell! the more feedback, the more i write! also id like to call to attention the fact that im very low on votes. please guys, votes are really important and they help the story and it doesnt take long, just please click the vote button and you're good to good! i cannot stress enough how helpful votes are! thanks everyone!