Childhood Lovers

Childhood Lovers. 20

"Look Hayden," Tyler said, breaking the kiss. "I can't do this, I'm sorry. As much as I want to keep kissing you, I know its wrong and I know you know its wrong too. I know that you really love Chase, a lot; by the way you look at him. And I know you're kissing me because you're confused, and you're not thinking clearly because of the fight."

I narrowed my eyes down. He was probably right; I was a little fazed by the fight.

"I'm sorry," was all I could say.

"It's okay," Tyler replied. "I should probably take you home now."

The car ride home was silent; no conversation, no music. Now that Tyler had pointed out my mistake, I felt guilty, dirty, and hypocritical. I had turned into my nightmare, my enemy.

What had I become? This unchill girl who doesn't understand and support her boyfriend who's going through a rough time? This bitchy slut who hooks up with another guy when she fights with her boyfriend?

Tyler pulled into the driveway and encouraged me to go find Chase and apologize. Maybe he wasn't as selfish as I thought he was.

Hanging my head low, I slugged into the house, preparing myself for a major break up.

Unlocking the front door, I noticed an envelope below my feet. I bent down and read it:

Letter 1 - May 2000

Deer Chase,

I hope you liek your new home! I miss u a lot! I want to see you soon! Right back soon.

Love, Hayden

 

Covering my mouth, I tried to keep myself from bursting into tears. I took a step into the house, and picked up the next letter.

Letter 2 - July 2000

Deer Chase,

I am glad to here everything is god! Summer is different without u! I miss my best frend!

Love, Hayden

This time I couldn't stop the tears. Chase had saved every single letter I sent to him when he moved to California. Taking another few steps, I picked up the next envelope.

Letter 3 - September 2000

Dear Chase,

Skool is very wierd without u! I am making new frends though! How is ur skool? Write back soon!

Love, Hayden

Tears of joy and tears of guilt. Chase was too good for me. I didn't deserve his sweet, adorable, romantic gesture. The next letter was place right in front of my closed bedroom door.

Letter 4 - December 2000

Dear Chase,

Today is my birthday! I wish you were hear to spend it with me! I miss you a lot! How are you? Come visit soon ok?

Love, Hayden

I opened my door, and found the last envelope strategically placed on my pillow.

Letter 5 - July 2010

Dear Hayden,

I'm incredibly sorry for what happened. I shouldn't have blown up at you like I did. It's your decision who you want to forgive, not mine, and I have to respect that. You have to believe me when I say I didn't mean what I said. I only said it because I panicked. But I don't want to panic anymore; I don't want to feel insecure about us. I trust you, Hayden. I promise I won't lose my temper at you anymore, and I'm going to try really hard to control my anger. Please, forgive me so we can make up?