Childhood Lovers

Childhood Lovers. 16

Things got better around the house. And when John started chemotherapy, it had a surprisingly good effect. It pushed us out of any sort of denial we were still in, and reassured us that John was getting help.

Chase was feeling that much better that he was ready to go back to work. I knew I should have been happy for him, being able to take that big step, but I couldn’t help but worry. Lately, Chase had been really sensitive and easily infuriated, especially around Tyler. I knew it was just his way of coping and it would soon pass, but that didn’t stop my paranoia.

Chase was working today and the parents were out, which meant I had the whole house to myself. Feeling trapped and lonely in the big empty house, I decided to go out shopping. I was just about to leave when the doorbell rang. Grabbing my bag and Chase’s car keys, I answered it.

I swung open the door, and hunched over. “Chase isn’t here right now, you can come back later.”

“Actually,” Jessica’s high pitched voice said. “I’m here to see you. Can we talk?”

Thrown off by this, I said, “I’m sorry, now isn’t the best time. I was just about to leave.”

“Please, Hayden, it will only take a few minutes,” she said in desperation.

“Okay,” I said, standing aside so she could step inside.

Her stilettos clonked along the wooden floor. She dropped her expensive-looking purse (one that pitied my hemp, over the shoulder bag) on the couch, and sat down.

“I’m really sorry for everything, Hayden. The day you got here, I personally singled you out, because you were competition. Chase dumped me in May, but we decided to stay good friends, even though I continuously persuaded him and tried to win him back. When he found out you were staying for the summer, he constantly talked about how excited he was to see you again, and I let my jealousy take the best of me,” Jessica said, almost in tears.

“Jessica . . .” I said, practically speechless.

“I’m not done yet. Seeing you as a newcomer, I seized the chance to victimize and take you down. I threatened you, but that wasn’t enough. Tyler confronted me with the idea to make the bet, to ruin your relationship with Chase. It was a win-win deal for the two of us. I would get Chase, he would get you. But, I felt sick afterwards because it was cruel and low-leveled. I want to apologize for everything, and tell you that I really admire you, for being so strong. You handled all of your problems – Tyler, me, Chase, his father – so beautifully and with class. And I can tell you’re really good for Chase. He needs someone as kind and attentive and smart and beautiful and affectionate as you.”

“Well thank you,” I said, still speechless. After a few minutes of awkward silence I said, “I guess I can go shopping later. Do you want to stay for a bit?”

Jessica nodded. I got up, asked if she wanted anything to drink, and she politely declined.

“So, why the apology all of a sudden?” I asked, finally addressing the subject.

“I’ve wanted to for a while now. Today just seemed like a good time to do it,” she said. “I’m really glad I did, because I just want to put this in the past and hope that we can be friends.”

I walked out of the kitchen and sat next to her on the couch.

“Jessica, it was really noble of you to apologize, but that doesn’t erase or justify what you did. You really hurt me, and its going to take more than a ‘sorry’ to make it up. I can tell you really mean it and you feel guilty, but that doesn’t make up for the damage you’ve done. What I’m trying to say is that I accept your apology and I’d like to move on, but it’s not going to be all sunshine and butterflies. I don’t exactly trust you. Lately, I’ve been struggling with trust. Unlike other people, I initially trust a person. However, if that person does something to lose my trust, it’s not easily given back. You have to work to re-earn my trust, and prove yourself to me. Just like Chase, I’m willing to give you a second chance, or in this case a clean slate, but you’re going to have to earn my trust back.”