Prologue// Lies...All Lies

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Prologue// Lies…All Lies

The walls closed around me. The white tiles staring down at me as they reflected my fragmented features, the mussed hair, black bags as big as suitcases underneath the dull grey eyes. The bathtub that had hidden previous attempts, the previous rivers of crimson liquid. I dare not stare into the mirror as it hangs above the sink right where a shiny friend balances precariously begging, pleading. It’s sharp edge lusting to taste my skin again, the drip with the precious life that I let it take slowly. Oh so bright in the bathroom light. Numb from head to toe with no thought of my actions the shiny friend is suddenly in my hand and gliding—only gliding—along my shivering skin that is now sallow from malnourishment.

My knees buckle, the sudden impact causing the lustful bastard to tear into my skin on my forearm. Tears of hatred, sorrow, regret spill and cloud my vision of anything making the world disjointed and puzzled, just as usual.
“Michael!” my mother’s voice shouts as her fist hits the wooden door once again. I locked the door so that I could do what was right. So that she couldn’t interrupt me, so that she couldn’t stop me.
“Baby open up” her voice shakes, it never shakes. She was always strong and always there, but not today not now. It was crucial that this lustful bastard won. It splits my skin into thin red lines that look like cat scratches. Lies…all lies. The words, the horror, the haunting of multiple voices reach me and I fold under the pressure. Much, too much. This muchness was too much, too much.

The unmistakeable press of the door under impact thuds in my head as my mom attempts to get the door ajar.
“Please, please, baby, don’t do this, stop, let me in”
“Mom?” the word springs from my wet mouth like a question.
“Michael, baby come on, let me help you”
Crawling on my knees I reach up with my bloody arm and unlock the door open, she too is on the floor. The tears that have bloodshot her eyes and made her makeup run. The razor blade drops to the floor with a blinking gesture of fuck you, my mother’s arms wreathing to have me within them. My injured arm wrapping around her middle, my forehead in the hollow of her neck, her shaking frame encasing me.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry”
“It’s okay baby, I’m here, you’re safe I promise, no one will hurt you”

Lies…all lies. I hurt me, I hurt me, I hurt me…I hurt me.  

//AN//

Hello lovelies! Thank you for reading my first part of Tailored Hats, Cats and White Rabbits. I would love some feedback and comments on how the story sounds, this story along with One Of The Boys are both my original stories and I'd appreciate to know what you think about them.

Just for future reference not every chapter is going to be this intense. Actually this prologue is probably going to the be the most deep and intensely written part of the story. I'm going to give you all this little taste of my story and update chapter 1 soon.
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Till then,
ARM179 :)

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