Pain

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Vincent:

The emotions and sounds that surged through me as I strangled the life out of this bitch was more than I could handle. My father's voice cheered me on while I watched the color drain from her face.

'Yes, that's it, boy! Shut her up for good! Kill her!'

I would have lost myself in his praise if not for the screams of everyone else in the room. They were begging and pleading with me not to kill her, and Matilda was beating her tiny fists against my back.

"Please, Daddy! Don't kill her! I love her!" Her voice was filled with sorrow and fear, but I couldn't have cared less. She would get over this eventually.

"Vincent! I'll do anything you want!" Emily cried, her voice also filled with fear. "Just let her live!"

'Don't listen to them, boy! Kill her!!!'

"Shut up! Everyone shut up!"

Their screams did not cease. I closed my eyes and drowned them out, until one of them was able to snap me back to the reality of what I was doing.

"Dad, don't! Please!"

It was Cora.

Hearing my baby call me 'Dad' caused me to immediately release Hope's neck. Her eyes rolled back to the front of her head, and she desperately breathed through her nose to get some air. There were red marks where my fingers had been.

"I-I...." My eyes filled with tears and my hands shook violently by my sides. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. Please, forgive me."

"It's okay." Emily said, trying to maintain a calm voice. "You let her go. That's all that matters."

"No. I should have never done it in the first place."

I walked back into the dining room and stared at myself in the mirror again. "God, what in the hell am I doing? Why have I become so violent?"

Father's glaring face appeared again. 'You were teaching them a lesson, boy. Why did you stop?'

"I'm not like you!" I shouted, punching the mirror so hard that it shattered. Blood oozed down my hand. My head lowered. "I'm.....not like you."

I dragged myself back into the living room and sank down to the floor, throwing my hands over my head and weeping like a baby.  What was I doing? 

For over seventeen years I have been trying so hard to show Emily how much I loved her, and I nearly ruined it by murdering her best friend. I was letting my temper get the best of me. I had to control my emotions and start thinking rationally.

What could I do to make this right? 

There had to be something.

I got on my knees right in front of Emily, lacing my hands together to beg her for forgiveness.  "I'm so sorry things turned out this way, my love.  You have no idea how much I wanted this to work."

"Vincent, it's okay.  You...you just need help."

"No!  It's not that at all!"  I cried, "You're the only thing in this world I've ever cared about.  Do you know what it's like to love someone that hates you!?"

"I don't hate you."

"Yes, you do!  You told me that you were going to kill me last night, right before I-"

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