Revelations to an Alpha

Chapter 16, Revelation: That's what I'm scared of

Chapter sixteen, Revelation: That’s what I’m scared of.

“Looking for anyone in particular?” Asked the girl on the desk, sat drinking coffee like there weren’t starving prisoners opposite her.

I shook my head, slowly turning towards the stairs again, concluding that they weren’t down here. I started to panic even more.

Calm. Calm. They’re alive. It’s lunch time, they’re probably sat down somewhere. I jogged up the stairs, and when I appeared at the opening to the big hall I was overwhelmed. I always forgot how bright the walls were and how loud the noise was. There were so many people. I wondered what they’d do after all this was over.

But would it ever be over? The queen said herself she had a war on rogues, I just propelled it beyond what it was before.

I walked forwards, hoping that I might stumble on Fi and Nelly, because this place too busy to ever think of looking for them. Something in my head told me to stop looking because what I’d find would hurt me.

How the hell was I meant to see them in a cloud of people dressed in exactly the same thing?

“Are you avoiding lunch?” Max jumped up beside me.

“I was thinking of having lunch here,” I was squinting my eyes and looking around. No sign of them.

“Okay,” Max nodded, but his voice higher than usual, “But just remember the queen is the only reason you’re still alive,” He pointed out, like I owed to have lunch with her.

“She’s also the only reason why a lot of people are dead.” I replied under my breath.

“So are you.” He replied, turning away.

Ouch.

I sat down on one of the only empty seats and decided to wait until they found me. They would be looking for me, right?

The only thing going through my mind was the sentence, don’t be dead. It’d gone through my mind before. And it’d never ever ended well.

Don’t be dead. Don’t be dead.

“Cathy,” People put their trays down on the table, and then I was going to tell them that the seats were reserved. And then I saw their faces. I wanted to scream. I wanted to hug them. They were all here. All together.

But I couldn’t. There were too many people.

“I’m so glad,” I didn’t know how to say it without being killed on the spot, “You’re here.”

They all nodded.

Nelly sat next to me, saying “Where’s Lucas?” under her breath. I replied with a smile, hoping she’d know if I said anything at all the people around us would think me a traitor. I was practically the enemy.

“So how are you settling in?” It was a normal question. Anyone could ask me that.

“Good. It’s a big place. I don’t know how you guys know where you are all the time.” I laughed. I could’ve said that to any normal soldiers, right? I wasn’t doing anything suspicious.

They laughed, but stopped suddenly, like the world had just crumbled ta their feet.

“Max said you didn’t want to eat with me.” Oh God oh God oh God. I gulped, tried not to imagine what she’d do to me. Oh God. The Queen.

“I felt like a change today.” I said, which was theoretically true.

“I think you have yet to realise, my dearest, that you cannot do what you want here.” The smile on her face made me stand up immediately and follow her back to the room where I always sat and always ate. I waved to Nelly, Fi and the rest, hoping that they wouldn’t be punished for the hell I did.