A Spaceman

Chapter 22-A touch of Card in the night

"Good evening, mum, I'm going to go and throw up now for at least six hours," Ziggy says, giving his mother a quick hug before walking towards the barracks probably to do just that.

"He said I'd have to explain that statement," I say, apologetically.

"Is he all right?" Lt Col Ziegfeld looks after her son worriedly.

"Yeah, no, we found, ah—human remains, out in the woods---we weren't together we sort of ran into each other out on the trails and then we saw them and spent a really nice afternoon talking to the police about it," I say, wincing at myself explaining how I wasn't intentionally spending the day with him. Even though I have every right to he's a mate I can have mates I can have friends I can have boyfriends I can do anything I want. Titus' feelings don't matter that much anyway he would be nicer to me if he actually loved me. He does actually love you he doesn't know how to be nice, a voice whispers. Of course that's true but I can choose to ignore it.

"That's horrible, one of our cadets died last night as well," she says.

"Really?" I ask, "That's awful, one of the Project 10s?"

"Yes, it was terrible, they think he did it to himself," she says, shaking her head.

"The remains we found the police think are linked to a serial killer they've been tracking for sometime, first time it's happened this close to the base, though," I say, sighing, "Well, I should be going to change, and do laundry, I didn't end up doing anything today after that."

"Then you really aren't going to like this---I had a quick favor to ask you," she says.

"What's Titus done?" I ask.

"Nothing yet---I was talking to him this morning, and his daughter has been asking about her mother," she says, "He's thinking of contacting the woman, for his little girl's sake."

"That's remarkably selfless of him," I say, frowning, "I'd think he'd want to keep her all to himself; he's so possessive of her."

"He does, he really doesn't want to go through with it, but I tried to tell him it's for his daughter's good," Ziegfeld says.

"That's good of you, I've not been keeping up on his 'how to be human' lessons lately," I say.

"On which note---he's going to ask you to go with him to meet her, before he introduces her to their daughter—and before you say no because I don't blame you I don't recommend most people have prolonged exposure to him---"

"---and I appreciate that---"

"---I'm not recommending you even consider it for his sake, but for the little girl's sake, and the poor woman's, she probably would like to meet her daughter and Titus can be---"

"Impossible, callous, rude, and downright evil when he wants to be?" I suggest, folding my arms. My instinct is to say no I'm not in the mood for him as it is. Talking with Ziggy today was good. It was nice it was normal just as mates---but why not, not as mates? Who gives a damn if he's a bit younger than me? It would be fun. It would be good for me. Above all else, it would be somebody who isn't Titus.

"Yes, all those things, and just think of having to meet him and knowing he's the father of your child," she says.

"Oh my god, we can't let him do that," I realize, "We tolerate him---"

"Because we know him and he's actually a lonely, sad person deep down but on first impression he's---"

"A monster, yeah, no we can't let somebody do that, as a woman I can't let some other woman just meet him, like that," I say, wincing at the thought. It's bad enough on a daily basis knowing I consensually slept with him, let alone not knowing what a wonderful, gentle, sensitive---- asshole. Complete asshole. He can be sometimes. When he wants to be. Which is really rare but when he doesn't; he's not like anyone else. I sigh. That's my problem.