They speak at the same time, saying each other name.
"Can"
"Sanem"
They laugh simultaneously, out of awkwardness, out of embarrassment, they don't really know.
All Sanem had in mind was to tell him what she was feeling all this time. Her real feelings, not the masked ones, thoughts that she managed to hide relatively well ever since he woke up. The ones that she was afraid to admit even to herself.
Can, on the other hand, didn't really had a plan on what to say. His head was scrambled these days anyway... The one certainty is that he realized he can't afford to lose her. That he would do anything in his powers to win her back, including "sabotaging" their jet ski. He may not know what to say but he knows he needs time alone with her. So he lets her talk first.
She gathers all the courage she has inside her and starts talking.
" I know that I've been inconsistent these past days but it was because I didn't know how to react. I tried to remind you everything by talking to you, taking you to our places, even the ones that I knew would hurt me to back to. I gave you my book to read because it had a really big importance to you. I know you don't remember this but once when you thought I was sleeping you told me that you couldn't finish it because you were reading every page a thousand times."
"Sanem..." Can tries to cut her speech but she doesn't let him. Instead his hands press her skin even more.
"Please let me finish this. I was trying with everything that I had in me to get you to remember me, us. But I lost my path along the way. What really matters is that you are alive Can Divit. With or without your memories you are here. I get to hold you, look at you, feel your heartbeat. I know that you may not remember soon or even never, but that will never change the way you make me feel. The year you were gone..." tears fill her eyes, she's trying to compose herself. She needs to finish what she started. Can moves his hand from her back to caress her face, wipe a tear she didn't realized was there, but he didn't say anything.
"The year you were gone I wasn't feeling anything. Then out of nowhere you show up and life gets its color back. I was smiling, a genuine smile that was so natural. I tried to push you back, afraid that you will leave me again, I couldn't go through this again. Somehow you managed to convince me that you would never abandon me again. That you came back to stay. You fought for me, you proved me wrong, and you waited from me until I was ready. So I'm going to do the same thing with you."
Her words hit him hard. He knew that they were in love, he read it in her book, everyone around him told him so, but he never understood the depth of their feelings. How much she was affected by him and him by her. He finally understood why he changed his whole lifestyle for this woman. The way her eyes look at him right now, full of moist and love tells him everything he needs to know. He felt like a fool for not practicing what he would say, but even if he was prepared he would never be able to have the right response to her words.
"Sanem... my Sanem..." He couldn't recognize his own voice. He couldn't say anything else... And then she smiles at him and miraculously he found exactly what he needed to say.
"I may not remember how I felt, what I felt, all I know right now is that having you in my arms makes me the happiest person on this earth. I don't need anything else. And if I have to walk this hell to remember you then so be it. You worth every single pain and suffering, as long as you promise me that I don't see these eyes cry because of sadness again.
His voice low, deep, it did things to her stomach, turns her into a pile of goo. She can't trust her knees to hold her, thank God he is holding her that tight. She tangles her fingers in his hair, enjoying the feeling and he lets out a small moan when her fingers dig deeper. She gets closer. Lifting on her tiptoes, to meet his eyes. Eyes thirsty, looking at her lips with such a vigorous power. Butterflies waking up she tries to maintain eye contact, a really hard task.
Can stays still. He is waiting for her to make a move, he's afraid she will stop, like she did a few hours ago when he tried to kiss her. He decided to follow her lead, her pace. She closes the distance between them even more and when their lips are almost touching she whispers " I promise."
