Chapter Fourteen

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Sophie’s Pov

It’s seven in the morning, I’m tired, and scared. I’m back at my apartment packing things up for the stay at the hospital overnight. Levi is keeping Benji entertained with blocks in the living room while I get everything together. Today we’re taking Benji in for his surgery and already I’m a wreck. 

My hands shake as I put his things into an old backpack I had. I know this is a simple procedure but he’s so young I’m terrified that something is going to go wrong. 

“Sophie are you done? If we don’t leave now we’ll be late.” Levi says from his place in the doorway, arms crossed. 

“Uh, yeah.” I zip the bag closed and turn around. 

Levi makes a face as he comes over and brushes his thumb underneath my eye, “Stop crying, everything is going to be fine. He’ll be just fine.” 

“I didn’t even realize that I was crying.”

Levi takes the bag from me and slings it over one shoulder, “Come on, we don’t want to be late.” 

“Yeah.” I go into the living room. Benji is sitting there playing with blocks, a sleepy look still on his face. I don’t blame him, I’m pretty tired too. All night Levi and I took turns staying up to make sure that Benji didn’t stop breathing. It was exhausting. 

At the sight of me Benji raises up his arms and I pick him up. He latches onto me and I tighten my hold, my poor baby. From there we all head down to Levi’s car. He took the day off to go and help me out at the hospital. It was actually strange to once again see him in casual clothes. He’s dressed in a deep red t-shirt and dark wash jeans. He also has a beanie jammed down over his hair. 

Levi holds the door for us to get into his car. He soon gets into his side of the car and we’re off to the hospital. On the way there my phone was swarmed with texts from everyone at work wishing me well and that they were waiting anxiously for the news. It was nice to know that they cared so much. 

We arrive at the hospital and my blood pressure shoots skyhigh. This is it. When we walk through those doors I’ll be handing my child off to a doctor I don’t even know and I won’t know how it goes until the procedure is done. The thought nearly sends me into a fit of hysteria.

Levi touches my forearm softly, “Calm down. I’m telling you everything will be okay. He’ll get in there and then get out almost as quick. Come on, we have to go.” 

I don’t know what I’d do without him. 

The smell of hospital antiseptic almost burns my nose. As a child I never had fond memories of hospitals. Every time I was here it was just bad news. A doctor meets us at reception and directly moves us to the procedure room. Outside of the room there are a few chairs settled there, presumably where Levi and I are to wait.

The doctors stop us at the door and then I know it’s time to give them my baby. Part of me flares up, wanting to tell them to fuck off because I was not giving them my son. However I know if I do that the problem won’t get any better. So, reluctantly, I hand over Benji to a nurse. He’s whimpering and crying, reaching out for me while the nurse takes him away. 

It’s wrecking me on the inside, I want to comfort him, to take him back and tell him everything is going to be alright and that I won’t leave him. But I can’t.

The nurse disappears with my child and all I can do is sit down in the plastic chairs, and wait. 

Levi’sPov 

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