you haven't been your usual self lately,
well, behind jinyoung's back.
when you were with jinyoung, you made sure that you acted like your normal cheerful self.
but at your own apartment, you would lie in bed and sulk, while writing in your new diary.
you wrote about the problems you were facing,
which were mostly related to jinyoung,
and how most of the time,
you didn't know how he was feeling about your relationship.
he was your boyfriend,
and you knew he loved you,
but he didn't often show it,
and you were one that sometimes got too insecure.
as you were again scribbling unitdily in your diary, you heard the opening of your house door and you immediately knew who it was, as only jinyoung had your house key.
putting away your diary on top of the shelf, you went out to greet him, giving him a light hug as both of you headed to your room.
"are you hungry-" you didn't need to continue your sentence as jinyoung's stomach responded with a growl.
chuckling, you asked, "you didn't eat lunch again huh?"
jinyoung simply nodded his head, his red face evident.
"i'll go make something for you to eat." you whispered, pressing a light kiss on his cheek before heading to the kitchen.
jinyoung scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, as he looked around your room, his eyes immediately taking interest in the book that was lying at the top of your shelf.
he knew you shared the same interest with him when it came to books, his curiosity picked him as he reached out and opened the book, his face scrunching up at the untidy words.
he then realised it was not a book,
but your diary.
he knew it wasn't right for him to be looking through your private things, but he just couldn't help it, especially when he saw his own name on the pages.
Dear diary,
what should i do? today, we were out in public and i tried holding jinyoung's hand, but after two seconds he just let go. i don't know if he just doesn't wants to show affection or he thinks i'm too clingy. i really don't want to come off as a clingy girlfriend, but what can i do if i really love him?
jinyoung flipped through the rest of the pages, his eyes swiftly scanning through them as he read more pages about your thoughts about him and your relationship.
his heart broke especially when he noticed that some of the pages had blotches, indicating that you were crying while writing them.
"jinyoung, do you want chilli-" you stopped mid-sentence when you saw him holding your diary in his hands, his eyes focused on the page.
you gulped, turning around quickly as you walked out of the room, only to be pulled back by jinyoung.
"(y/n).." jinyoung whispered, his eyes filled with concern.
you kept quiet as you bit on your lip, your eyes glued to the floor.
"you know that i love you right? with or without any action, you stole my heart. and i love you with all my life." jinyoung continued, lifting your chin up gently with his finger.
"i know. i'm sorry.. i'm just too insecure, and you don't show it- so it gets really-" you paused, "i don't know.."
jinyoung pulled you in gently, wrapping his arms protectively around you.
"i should be the one saying sorry. i'm sorry for not knowing that you were hurt by my actions, and i'm sorry for not loving you properly. i was so selfish and thought of my own pride, that i didn't put you as my first priority. i'm so sorry for being such a terrible boyfriend (y/n), and in any case i don't think you would forgive me but-" you cut him off, crashing your lips onto his.
he kissed you back almost immediately.
it wasn't rough, but it was passionate, yet full of love.
"i just want to let you know, you're the best boyfriend anyone can ever ask for." you whispered, after pulling away for air.
"and you're the best girlfriend anyone can ever ask for. i love you (y/n), and i promise i will love you better." he replied, leaning his forehead against yours, so close that your noses touched.
"i love you too." you smiled.
