Nobody Knows - A Zayn Malik Fanfiction

Chapter Six (Fern)

Chapter Six

            I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. My head chanted this with every step I took on the long walk to my flat with Kris and Jo, as they yatter away. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. My eyes squint at the cold air, sighing loudly.

            “You okay, Rora?” Jo asks, and I flinch. Her loud, Australian accent caught me off guard, and I stumble onto the road, clearly missing the next step on the pavement.

            “RORA!” A strong, pinching hand snatches my body away from the road, as a silver 2006 Civic misses me by inches.

            All I can think in response to the near-hit was “Wow, that was a nice car.”

            I was in a daze, clearly high off my time with Zayn, and the hugs he gave me. What did they call this feeling of wanting to throw up, yet wanting to jump with joy all the while elephants stomp in your stomach? Love, my brain fills me in. But wait—I can’t love Zayn. He’s an international pop star, someone completely off-limits – even if he is my best friend.

            I can’t love Zayn. I stop on the pavement, and my mouth drops, opening and closing like a fish. I can’t even try to love Zayn. He’s off limits, you moron. Why can’t I love him? His eyes, his warm, secure hugs, the way he holds a cigarrete (even though I’m trying to get him to stop). I can’t get enough of him, and as I lift my hands to cover my face, his smell gusts at me from my jumper, as I catch a whiff of cologne, vanilla, and smoke.

            “Kris, let’s get here home, she looks like she’s high or something. Maybe it’s all the Sharpie she uses for her white board.” I hear them exchange laughs but I can’t even lift the corner of my lips in an attempt to smirk.

            All I can think about is him.

            Just as I start walking again, my phone starts blaring, and I blink in confusion. Wait—I always blink. But nevermind. Confusion went with the blink.

            I click ‘answer’ without looking at the phone itself. My mouth opens to say hello, but I remember I can’t talk.

            I won’t.

            “What’s going on between us?” My breath hitches. Shit. Shit. It’s Zayn.

            I open and close my mouth again, imitating a fish, and sigh. I can’t answer. I wish I could. Just a simple yes. But I can’t.

            Not now. Not ever.

            Before I can even attempt to say anything, like I was trying to do, to say it’s okay, or I love you. Don’t say no, he hangs up without even giving a chance.

            And now’s the time I wish I had the courage to speak.

             I love you, Zayn.

            Don’t you get it?

            No. You never will. Not ever.

            Because I know he doesn’t love me back.

A/N 

I honestly hate myself because of this chapter. And all I have to say is HOLY FRICKING ROO, YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!? SEVEN FANS!? OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. Tallie and I had quite a freak-out moment on Skype together. 

Here is the long-awaited chapter of NK! <3 - Fern x