Beastly Love (Under Construction)

Chapter 14

He took up most of the space in my mind. His face, his laugh, the carelessness of his actions. I didn't know whether that made my hate for him greater, or just made me become more attached to him. It was always a battle, one of us would screw up and get mad and it all went to shit. I was lost in my own thoughts for days.

Melissa came to my mind often. The sister he couldn't save. The person whom he felt as if he let down the most. In that way we were both the same, too afraid to let anyone get close because of the fear they may be ripped away from us, but also desperately wanting someone to love, someone who would love us back.

Part of me thought we could have that, that we could actually be something. But I guess we are both too destructive in our own ways to actually make any of it work. But only if he knew just how badly I wanted it to work. For a moment I'd thought I'd seen it when he was in Melissa's room. That spark of emotion that made me think he wanted me. And just like that it was gone. He was gone. Replaced by a monster so angry, so cruel, so hurt, that  he refused to even look me in the eyes. 

Never in my life had I cried over a boy, over something so stupid as love. But Aiden changed all that. He made me feel what love was, made me want to trust and let go. He made me fall, but he wasn't there to catch me or pick up the broken pieces. I wasn't even sure he cared anymore. And after all the sadness left my body, anger and frustration took its place. I felt it slowly bubble within my veins day after day until I couldn't take it anymore.

My hand came into contact with the wall as I screamed internally. I hated him, I hated that bastard with all of my heart. He locked me in this fucking room, and for what? For trying to help him, trying to learn something about him so that I could understand him better. He wasn't worth the effort. He wasn't worth the pain or tears. So why did I cry? Why did I feel like complete and absolute shit without him.

I paced around the room for a few minutes before settling back down onto the mattress. I went back and forth with myself, arguing for what seemed like hours. Liking him this was wasn't only wrong, it was sick. I mean he kidnapped me for fuck's sakes. 

I was pulled from my thoughts by knocking on my door, my heart raced, maybe he could forgive me, maybe I could get a chance to explain. It bugged me to think that I wanted him to forgive me, maybe things could go back to normal. To my disappointment it was only Kate on the other end. I fell back onto the soft mattress as she walked in, closing the door behind her. 

"What are you doing here Kate?" I asked in a small voice. Was I actually able to let visitors in this hell hole?

"I came to check up on you. We had  a meeting of sorts downstairs. I was worried when you didn't come down. I am also your best friend." she looked me over a few times. Studying my face, the way I looked.

"Kara, what happened. Did he hurt you?" anger was evident in her voice.

"Not in the way you are thinking." she seemed to relax a bit.

She studied me for a few more minutes, I could tell she was picking me apart, and slowly putting the pieces together.

"You fell for him didn't you?" It was scary how she could know exactly what I felt or had been through, but I guess that was the benefit of having a friend like her. Sometimes I swore she could just look at me and know every thought in my mind.

"Yea, I guess I did." There was no chance in hell I could hide it, not from myself and not from  her.

"I told you that he wasn't good. He doesn't care about the girls he's with Kara. They all just end up hurt or broken or even worse." She had warned me. And I wished I'd listened.

"I should've listened because now everything has gone to shit." I looked at my hands.

"What did he do?" she looked like she was ready to run downstairs and  beat the shit out of him.