Gloved Hands ›Countryhumans Sanctuary AU‹

19. The Poison Called Rage

The next day..

America slung his bag across his back, he was finally early this time. He wanted to leave earlier because it was raining, he didn't want to run through puddles and get wet clothes. Well, semi-wet legs, anyway.

He sighed, checking the time. 7:42am. It was twenty minutes before he had to leave, but he decided to leave now anyway.

He strode over to New Zealand, looked at her for a second, and walked back towards the door, it was deadly quiet in the house. UK and France were still asleep, America didn't want to wake them.

As America gently opened the door and closed it behind him, he looked forward and stopped for a moment. He felt a strange sense of loneliness, he knew that he was going to be alone soon. And he couldn't do anything about it.

He sighed and kept walking, he wasn't in the mood for running that day. He needed some time to process what he should do, otherwise he would.. he would loose Russia. And he didn't want that.

Russia was the only one who's actually cared for America. In past relationships, he was used. Neglected. He only had one other boyfriend who didn't use him, who cared for him, loved him, trusted him.. until he went out and cheated on America. He found someone more broken, a bit more lost. His ex said in those exact words;

She needs help. You don't.

America went back to thinking of Russia, he couldn't help but wondering why he wanted to leave. He knew Russia would, he'd been seeming.. off.. lately. America also pieced together that Germany and Poland had been somewhat avoiding him, they didn't speak to him. And if they did, they would never make eye contact. America came to the conclusion that Germany and Poland were in this thing too.

America snarled, he was angry about himself. He wished people would like him. He wished he could have a lasting relationship. He wished he was worth it.

He wished he was dead.

America's expression softened up, he felt like crying, but nothing came. But, it was probably a good thing, school was in the distance and the school bell would've almost rung.

He grinned falsely, he needed to make Russia think he was ok. If he didn't.. well, America didn't want to see a therapist of any kind.

America sighed, Germany and Poland weren't standing at their usual spot. Instead it was Russia, Japan, North and South Korea. The two brothers were arguing, it looked like South was winning. What they were having an arguement about was a mystery to America.

He looked over to Russia, who seemed to enjoy watching them argue. He then turned to America, pulling off that smile America loved too fucking much.

"Hey Ame!" Russia greeted him, America ran up to Russia and hugged him. When he pulled away, Russia wrapped an arm around America's waist, pulling him close. "Shorty." Russia snorted. America sighed, he knew he was short, but now Russia was just rubbing in that he was tall.

"Russ, where's Germany and Poland?" America asked, looking up to him while North and South kept arguing. He sighed, avoiding America's eye contact.

"Germany's away today helping Poland move in with him, don't worry." Russia said, looking America right in the eye. America flinched, was he really sure Russia was gonna leave him..? What proof did he have?
And if he did lie, Russia was pretty fucking amazing at lying.

Well, America's boyfriend was fucking amazing at everything.

America sighed, he wished that he could have someone in his family who'd actually care for him. Sit down with him, and he could tell them everything without them getting worried. They could keep the secret. But nobody was like that. Not UK or France, they'd get too worried. Aussie and New Zealand were too young to understand. Canada.. well, he told everyone everything he knew. All his secrets. And America wasn't able to trust him all too well.

"You alright, Ame?" Russia asked with struggle, in the middle of trying to pull apart North and South. America looked up and very hesitantly nodded, grinning. And Russia could see it. Russia half smiled, marching over to America and placing his hands on his shoulders. "No you're not." Russia whispered to him. America looked to the ground, feeling dread.

"Do you know what it's like to have a sibling that you can talk to..? One that you can keep secrets with?" America asked, his voice trembled. Russia's jaw dropped a bit, he blinked.

"N-no, but I do have friends who do. Maybe that can be the same for you? You can talk to me..?" Russia suggested, America felt a pain in his heart. He didn't want to lash out, but he knew he had to.

"What friends, hm? I can't talk to you, because you're fucking keeping secrets from me too!" America shouted, North and South stopped fighting and turned to them with worry. Russia was taken aback, he removed his hands from America's shoulders.

"A-America, that's a birthday present.." Russia stuttered, America could see he was kind of scared. This made him cry. He never wanted to see Russia like this.

"No it isn't! I know it's not! I've noticed how Germany and Poland are avoiding me! They're in this too!" America shouted. "Maybe Anon is too! He disappeared, he must've been helping you god fucking damnit!"

"America, calm down!" Japan screamed, she looked upset too. America turned his head to her, stomping over to her.

"What.. are you in this too?!" He shouted, North and South pulled America away. They threw him to the ground, America hit his side on the concrete. He immediately got up, his mind infected with anger and sadness.

"Maybe I don't fucking need any of you! I shouldn't have helped Japan Germany when they were getting bullied, or I shouldn't have introduced myself to you! Maybe I'd still half like myself if I didn't have any friends!" America snapped, turning around and running away. He sprinted out of the school, leaving them all behind.

America didn't need them. He didn't need himself. He didn't need this.. gift he called life.

America's breath was out, his house was right next to him. He opened the door, his mother France and father UK sitting on the couch with confused faces. America ignored it, he went upstairs.

"America, what's wrong?" France asked behind him. America ignored her, storming into his room. He locked the door, falling onto his bed and screaming to himself.

He heard chatter outside his bedroom, but it was more than one voice. His 'friends' must've been outside too.

"America?" A quieter more apologetic voice asked, lightly knocking on the door.

"F-fuck off, Russia.." America sniffled, staring at Anon's note. He wished Anon was still here. He wished Anon wasn't working with Russia.

"America, I need to talk to you." UK said, pressing the side of his head against the door. He got no reply, he stepped aside for France to have her turn.

"America? You're really worrying me.." France whispered, Japan suspiciously stepped in front of the door.

"Are you even in there..?" She asked, she got no reply. North and South stepped forward, South pulled a lock pick out if his pocket. The group outside anxiously waited until there was a click, North slammed the door open.

America was nowhere to be seen.

--

Sorry for not posting. We recently gave away my cat I grew up with and yesterday I gave away my budgies, it was heartbreaking. I'm also dealing with a fake friend who's spreading rumors about me, I'm really not in the place to be writing at the moment. I will anyway, I'll do as much as I can.

Oh, and did you see what I was foreshadowing? TRIPOD knows, he requested it. And it fits perfectly into my story.

Anyhow, that's me done for today. See you all later!

°°Crazed°°