Chapter 1

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Chapter 1

I've been working at Teller Morrow for over a year now and love the guys that I work with. They treat me like family. Especially Jax. He's my best friend. I tell him everything. I walk into my house after work and see Chris, my boyfriend of two years, packing his things. "What are you doing?" I ask. "Valerie, shit, I was hoping to be gone before you got here." he tells me. "Wait. Are you leaving?" I ask shocked. "Yeah. Look, this isn't working anymore. I don't want to be with you. I'm moving in with this girl I met and we're getting married." he tells me. "What?" I ask, still shocked. "I'm sorry." he tells me before picking up his last bag and heading out the door, leaving me standing there, stunned. I move to the couch and sit there as the tears start to fall.

I must have fallen asleep on the couch because my alarm on my phone woke me up. I get up and head to work and since it's Saturday, there's a party tonight. I get to the office and clock in and get to work. We're busy today so I don't have to speak to anyone or think about shit. Once the office is closed, I head inside where the party is getting started. I walk up to the bar and ask for a shot of Jack. Downing it and asking for another, I see a couple of the guys looking at me confused. Normally I don't drink but I just need to feel numb. I'm tired of feeling shit. "Sack, hand me the bottle please?" I ask. He does as I ask and I head down the hallway to the ladder. Climbing up, I sit on the air unit and start to take a long pull from the bottle. I am halfway through the bottle when I hear someone step up onto the roof. I don't have to look to see who it is. He sits beside me and I say "I'm fine Jax." He laughs and says "Okay." I don't look at him, but I take another pull from the bottle, offering it to him and taking another when he hands it back to me. "What's up?" he asks. "Nothing. Just want to drink tonight." I tell him. "Bull shit. You forget. I know you." he tells me softly. I take another drink before he takes the bottle from me and sits the now empty bottle beside him. Looking out at the party going on below, I say "Chris moved out. Said he met someone and they're getting married." I tell him. "Shit." he says. "Yeah." I say. "When?" he asks. "Yesterday. Was heading out when I got home." I tell him. "I'm gonna kick his ass." he tells me as he goes to stand. I grab his hand and say "Leave it. It's not worth it." I tell him. He sits back down and puts his arm around me as I cry.

Once I get myself together, I see Tara getting out of her car. "You better head down. I'll be down in a bit." I tell him. "You sure?" he asks. "Yeah. Go on." I tell him. "You know I'm here if you need me." he tells me. "I know. Love you Jackson." I tell him. "Love you to Val." he tells me as he heads down the ladder. I pull my knees up to my chin and start to cry again. What did I do? Why wasn't I enough? I think to myself as the tears fall harder. I see the party start dying down and realize I've been up here most of the night. I climb down the ladder and I've sobered up some so I head to my car and drive home. Getting home, I can't handle shit. I go to the cupboard and grab another bottle of Jack. Sitting on the couch, I finish off the entire bottle and pass out as the sun comes up.

I wake up hearing a knock on my door. I don't get up to answer it. I don't want to see anyone. The knocking starts again. When I still don't answer, the door opens and in walks Jax with Gemma behind him. Shit. I sit up and wipe my eyes as Gemma sits beside me. "Why didn't you call me?" she asks. "What was I gonna say? Chris left me and now I feel like a worthless piece of shit?" I ask and she says "That's exactly what you tell me." she tells me. "I just didn't want to feel anything. I just wanted to forget." I tell her, looking down as another tear falls. "I know baby but you need to feel. You need to remember how that asshole made you feel so when he realizes he fucked up, you won't give in and take him back." she says. I laughed. "Yeah right. He's not coming back, Gemma. He was cheating on me. They're getting fucking married. I wanted to get married. But you know why he did it? Why he chose her? I found his fucking letter on the bed. He didn't want me because I couldn't give him kids. I can't have kids Gemma. No man wants that. He just proved that." I tell her before heading to my bedroom and closing the door.

Gemma opens the door. "What do you mean you can't have kids?" she asks. "When I was sixteen, I had ovarian cancer. I had to have a hysterectomy." I tell her. She walks over and says "There are some men that are okay with that baby." she tells me. "Yeah right." I say. I look at Jax and ask "Would you be okay if Tara told you she couldn't have kids?" I ask. "I don't know Val." Jax says. I look at Gemma and say "See. But at least Jax is honest. Chris let me believe we'd be okay." I tell her as I start to sob again. Gemma pulls me to her and holds me while Jax sits beside me and holds my hand.

Later, Jax heads back to the clubhouse. Tig walks over and asks "What was up with Valerie last night? She never drinks." Jax runs his hand down his face and said "Douchebag boyfriend moved out the other day. Told her he met someone and is getting married." Jax says. "Shit. She okay?" Tig asks. "I don't know man. This has really fucked up her head." Jax says. Happy walks over, listening to the conversation. "Why would he just up and leave her like that?" Tig asks. "She told me and Mom that she can't have kids. I guess he couldn't handle that. She thinks no one's gonna want her because she can't give them kids." Jax says. "Don't mean something's wrong with her." Happy says before walking out the door, both men looking at him confused as he leaves.

Gemma finally leaves me alone and I sit on the couch just staring off into space. I look at my phone and see Tig's number show up. I don't answer. A little later, I see texts from Chibs and Juice but I don't answer. I just want to be left alone. Picking up the phone, I check the voicemail. Call me when you can Doll. We're here if you need us. We love you baby girl. I hear Tig's voice say as the tears start again. Looking at the texts, they read...

Chibs: Just checking in Lass. Making sure you're okay. We all love you sweet aingeal

Juice: Just wanted to check on you. If you want, I can bring ice cream. I'm here if you need me.

I put the phone down and it goes off one more time. I look at the caller ID and see Happy's name pop up...

Happy: You deserve better little girl.

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