Underline the Black

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A pair of bloodshot eyes peered back at me through a cloudy bathroom mirror.  I spent most of the night worrying about how I should tell Matty about my side gig.  I had been so careful in keeping Andy from everyone.  I couldn't believe that I was about to give it all away.

Andy and I had some good times, and the fact that I hadn't been careful enough with her killed me inside.

Just march right over to his front door and tell him.  What are you afraid of?

Well, many things, actually.  What if he thinks its a scummy job?  What if he thinks I do more for certain clients?  What is he thinks I'm a bad person for lying?

This is a chance you should take, honey.  If you really like this boy and he likes you, maybe he will be more understanding than you think.  This time, Andy's voice was muffled, and Flora's soothing Texan accent echoed in my mind.

With sudden burst of energy, I marched out of my flat in nothing but a flimsy tank top and shorts.  My bare feet stopped at Matty's doormat but I was almost knocked over by a person eager to leave.

A woman with dark, sultry locks pushed past me, her heeled booties clicked across the floor.  She had barely muttered a 'sorry' to me as she hauled a large purse down the stairs with her.  I could tell she was fit, as her black pencil skirt clung to her body.  Within seconds, she was out of sight, the only thing she left behind was the slight smell of weed and a lavender perfume.  I couldn't tell how old she was exactly, maybe a few years older than me.  

"Oh, hey, Celeste."  Matty seemed surprised to see me as he stepped out of his flat.  He had his guitar case in hand and a notebook in the other and sported a black leather jacket with chucks.  He asked in a cheery tone, "What's up?"

"Nothing, really, I was wondering if maybe we could talk?"  My voice was unsteady and I tripped over my words a million times.  Matty cocked his head and his curls fell over to one side, but he  listened intently.

"Sure, love, right now?"  Love.  I adored that pet name.  "It might be better if we talked later, I'm in a bit of a rush right now.  The guys are I are getting in one last practice before we have a gig audition later tonight!  I literally just made the plans."

"That's cool, Matty, I'm really happy for you guys. I know you'll do great."  I said as I watched a smile splash across his face.  "I'll make us dinner to celebrate."

"You know I won't be able to resist that offer."  He laughed and placed his guitar on the ground for a moment.  He leaned towards me and placed his free hand on the back of my neck to bring us into a soft, sweet peck.  We broke apart and then he swiftly grabbed his belongings and left.

Back in my flat, I took a seat, coffee in hand.  If I was going to tell Matty the truth, I needed to do it the right way.  Blurting out "I'm a stripper" in the middle of dinner might kill the mood and my chances at being with Matty in the future.  Obviously I wouldn't bring it up so abruptly, I had to be more coy, more subdued.

-

I returned from the store with two large bags of ingredients and placed them on my kitchen counter.  I was going to make chicken parmesan with mashed potatoes and a green salad.  Nothing too earth shattering, but a good homecooked meal might be enough to distract Matty from the truth bomb I would be placing before him.  

While I was breading the chicken I started to get cold feet.  If you tell him, he'll run rang through my mind and I couldn't help but contemplate telling other people in my life about Andy.  Flora would understand why I took this job, but I'm sure she would be as much surprised and she would be supportive.  I loved her for that.  She always trusted my decisions, and would do her best to help me if I had made a poor one.

But this one was different.

George was so understanding when he figured out about my secret.  He didn't think of me differently, and the fact that he is still able to hold eye contact during a conversation with me was a good indication that he still liked me.  It was also a good indication that Adam and Ross would respond in a similar way.

I placed the prepared chicken breasts in the oven and messages pulled out my phone.  I shot Matty a quick message and asked him if he would like to come in the next 30 minutes.

Not too long after, I heard a knock at my door and smiled because I knew there would be a goofy smile behind it.  Skipping to the door, I turned the handle and motioned for him to come in.

"Hey," Matty adjusted the collar on his partially buttoned up shirt,  "it smells amazing in here, love."

"Hey, uh, love."  I returned his comment, but I'm sure he was more distracted by my blushing cheeks.  "Thanks, I'm almost done.  Have a seat."

"Can I help you with anything?"  he offered.  Matty poked around my cupboards and then reached in to grab a glass, then filled with water.

"You could mash some potatoes if you like, just wait about 10 minutes and they'll be done."  I said, which caused him to make some comment about his 'manly, brute strength', which forced a genuine laugh past my lips.  What a ham.

-

After dinner, we both sat on the couch, his arm around me shoulders and my head in the crook of his neck.  My knees couldn't help but point towards him, as his hands played with the odd curl that tumbled down my arms.  Tangled together on the sofa made me feel safe.

"Dinner was stupendous, thank you so much."  His eyes sparkled intensely.  The corners of my mouth turned upwards when he thanked me.  I placed my hand on his chest, an intimate gesture, but he softened under the warmth of my palm.

"Listen, Matty,"  I began, but I was cut off.

"I really like you, Celeste."  He spoke plainly, and I could see he was trying to find the correct words to say.  My fingers could feel his heart beating a fraction of a second quicker, which caused me to feel a little warmer as I sat next to him.  "I know we've hung out a few times, but I wanted to ask you out on a proper date."

"Oh,"  I was taken off guard by his directness, but it pleased me to know that he really did want to go on a date.  "I would be honoured to go out with you."

He shot me an award-winning smile.

"Hey, how did your tryout go?  You and the guys went to a club right?"

"Not bad, I met with the owner today.  She came by my place because she was visiting another band's practice at a studio not too far away.  I felt like a real idiot though, because I forgot she was coming and she knocked on my door while I was rolling a joint..."  He sheepishly continued his story, "... on my living room table."

"Oh, damn, what else happened?"

"Well, she asked to smoke with me, kind of strange.  I decided to take it as a good sign."  His furrowed brow signalled that he seemed extremely unsure of what was going to happen with this opportunity.

" I mean, she seemed to like us when we were playing.  It wasn't very impressive 'cuz it was at my place, right?  But, I hope she calls us with good news."

"Stay hopeful, I'm sure you guys will get the gig.  Even though I've only heard you guys play through the walls.  I think you're all really talented."  I meant every word I said, I couldn't quite get all the lyrics through the walls, but the music that the four of them made were infectiously catchy.

We sat in each others arms for a long time.  Until I asked him to leave at about quarter to seven.  I still had the club shift tonight, and I wasn't going to let a date hinder me from doing my job.

andromeda // matty healy auWhere stories live. Discover now