Just If You Dare.

Chapter 28

ENJOY xoxox

Three weeks. in Briarcliff institution for the mentally ill, which is for someone like me, made perfect sense. Three weeks not including the whole week I have been blocked in my dreams due to strong drugs and sedatives making the total is 4 weeks. A one whole month and not a word spoken from my mouth.

Seeing Niall in the cafeteria the first day I woke up, was one of the most unforeseen yet most desperate thing I need.

His golden spikes, his navy blue eyes scanning for someone, certainly me.

Exasperation, Discomfort, and the thing I really hated, tears. He casually walked towards me as soon as he found me alone in the corner of the room. I clinched my fist in anger, suddenly my appetite was blown with air replaced my unexplainable anger .He was facing the ground while walking towards me, until he reached for a chair in front of me, took a loud gasp saying “Hey” sadly.

I definitely didn’t reply, “I know you are angry and all but” he took a deep inhale trying to collect his words together while I looked at my plate trying to hold myself together, “But I swear, I did it for you” my head was facing the plate until he said ‘He did it for me’? for me? I looked up at him with my boiling bloody eyes and dragon fire breathe.

“if I haven’t done that, someone else would” after a moment of silence from me trying to process his extremely lame excuses “Talk to me” he said looking into my eyes.

I stood up to leave the room but was intervened by his hand grabbing my wrist “Please, I have been worried sick about you for the past weeks, Say something, At least listen to me” listening to him was on my top bottom list of things I would like to do in my life but he insisted saying “Please” grabbing my wrist angrily.

And so, I sat back on my chair staring at his eyes “You have the complete right to feel angry” I certainly did and certainly was “I am, at myself” he said slowly taking away his hands from my wrist.

“Say anything, Carrie. Scold me, scream like you did in the fields” he knew about the field scream probably from Harry but I didn’t care, It was nothing special and I indeed needed it for now but not in front of over one hundred mentally sick people that I will ruin their day if I did.

“Carrie?” he said and I stared with one eyebrow raised.

“At least,” he took a long inhale looking at the ground and then facing me back  “Tell me how you feel?” if I told him how I felt, he would be playing chess with his dead grandfather because it would kill him.

I loved him, I trusted him with my life, so I ended up losing my life in a place I don’t know how much time I would stay in. Why is that all happening to me? I  wished I could be just  a normal teenager with my biggest worries, my menstruation.

But instead I had the world’s problems over my shoulders, and it weighted tonnes.

“Fine, I umm...... understand that you are going through rough shit and stuff but I will come and see you later, I love you Carrie, even after what you did” he said and automatically left placing a wet kiss on my cheek, I can’t say I don’t miss it. Me and him kissing and all, I miss it so much.

It took me a minute until I processed his words while eating my eggs and salad fruit

‘Even after what you did’? that was one more question added to my mental question’s book. Did he mean something about me and Harry? Well he shouldn’t because he knew there was nothing between the two of us.

In addition I was the one who is supposed to be angry at him for A) he didn’t call me ,not even once when I was kidnaped. B) I woke up between Harry’s arms while I was in desperate need of his. C) for placing me in this shitty place exclaiming it’s for my benefit.