Just For Show (EDITING)

Chapter 17 - " try not to be so pathetic on stage tonight"

What little girl didn't dream of the life I was living right now? I had the perfect hollywood boyfriend who every girl envied. I had amazing fans and the most amazing friends.

The doctors at the hospital my dad was staying at, finally gave me some good news. They had seen some recent brain activity which hadn't been seen in years. The moment I got that call, I ran to the hospital.

Unfortunately when I got there, he was the same as always to me. But that doctors showed me the report of the recent brain activity and that was all I needed.

There was still some hope and that was all that mattered to me. I told my mom about it but she brushed it off. It didn't sit well with me. Before the accident, she was so in love with him but after, it was like she blocked him out of her life. Cathy, his nurse, had even told me that mom had only visited months ago and never again.

Her excuse was always the same, she was too busy with her wedding. I didn't even know who the guy was. Deep down I knew she wasn't marrying the guy because she loved him.

Maybe she was just lonely. My dad, her husband, couldn't be there for her anymore. I was living a different life away from her. That's what I told myself, she was lonely and wanted to have someone.

I just hoped he was marrying her for the right reasons.

Today was the first day of tour and I couldn't be more nervous. We had performed shows before but this was our own tour. The whole show was about us.

Zayn and Louis of course were jumping around like two little kids. The arena was bigger than I had expected. When we walked in my jaw dropped to the floor and butterflies flew in my stomach.

Rehearsals had gone great for the last couple days, with the exception of Harry of course. He hadn't gone to rehearsals at all which made James furious. He even warned him that he would pull Harry off the tour. Of course Harry came up with a smart remark and walked away. James knew that we needed Harry.

Seeing Harry come home drunk every night was a nightmare. I couldn't sleep not knowing if he was okay, so I'd end up staying awake till he got home, if he went home. No matter the time, I couldn't sleep. 4 am was the usual, having to wake up at 6, only two hours of sleep. But when he didn't come home, I wouldn't sleep at all.

Jess was used to it. She told me he used to be like this before Lia came around. Lia really did bring out the best in him. Even if he did cheat on her, she was good for him. She kept him in control in a way.

And I had ruined it all. I couldn't help but blame myself sometimes. It was true what Harry said. If I had never come into his life, this mess wouldn't have happened. But then I think, this could have happened to any girl. Any girl could have fallen in love with that boy...

"Cailin!" someone snapped me out of my thoughts.

I looked up to see James looking at me funny.

" you okay kid?" he asked.

I nodded.

" have you seen Harry? he's already late for sound check" James said looking at his wrist watch.

" I saw him this morning" I shrugged as I stroked Boots who was currently in my lap.

" he better get here soon" James said before leaving the room.

" what are we going to do about that boy?" I asked Boots with a baby voice.

That was how I liked to talk to Boots. Everyone talked to her like that, Zayn and Louis included. Just listening to them talk to him that why made me laugh my ass off. They would glare at me but I'd continue laughing.