Just For Show (EDITING)

Chapter 63 - "what are you doing here?"

Monday morning - Interview with Good Morning America and performance

Monday afternoon - Interview with Ellen and performance

Monday night - performance for the New York Music Festival

Tuesday morning - radio interviews for new album

Tuesday afternoon - flight to Boston

Tuesday night - concert rehearsal

.....and so the list went on.

This was just the beginning of the week that Liam had planned out for me. My performance for the VMAs had gone better than any of us expected. Immediately the next morning my song Try was on the radio nonstop. People requested it so much that they were playing it automatically. The first time hearing the song on the radio, I literally cried of happiness. It felt amazing that the industry was taking me back with arms open. It felt amazing that I still had fans.

After the performance, interviews had been nonstop. They all wanted to talk about my down hill spiral and how I picked myself back up. One of the topics that I tried to stay away from was Harry and why we broke up. When they would ask me why I left All Oblivion, I would always say what I said in the video I had uploaded on Youtube months ago. I needed time off. Then they went on asking since I did get my time off, why didn't I get back together with them. I would always answer that I figured that I wasn't the same person I was back then.

I truly wasn't the same person that I was back then. In the last couple of months I had grown into a completely new person. I felt like I knew who I was now. I wasn't dependent on anyone anymore. I was my own person.

My performances for the fans had been going amazing. Since only two of my songs for my new album had came out, I could only sing those two. For the other songs, I would sing covers and even a song from the All Oblivion album which would usually make them all go crazy.

As for the boys, I had been slowly getting back in contact with them. At least with Zayn and Louis.

Louis had gone to visit me in the studio a couple times, checking up on me. He let me know that from now on he would always be there watching over me. I could tell that he was worried about me even though I would assure him that I was fine. But it felt good to have that protection back into my life.

Zayn and I had gone out a couple of times for fun. Once again we became best buds goofing around all the time. He even came up on stage when I had a show in LA once. The crowd went absolutely wild that night. Zayn and I used to never go deep into our emotional feelings with each other. But there was one night where we were just drinking at my new apartment in New York when Willow came up in one of our conversations. Even though my grieving stage was over, it was clear that Zayn was still grieving. He cried over her loss, mostly because he regretted the way he treated her. We all knew the horrible way he treated her after they had broken up. I couldn't forget that they broke up because of me.

He then went on to tell me about the night that we all had to take her home. I remembered because that was the night he stayed there taking care of her. This was the first time I was hearing about what happened when Willow woke up. Zayn went on to tell me how that was the night that he realized that he was still in love with her. But he didn't know how to fix the new drugged up Willow. It only made me wonder how fucked up Willow and I really were.

My interaction with Harry hadn't changed much since the VMAs. That was the last time I saw him, three weeks ago. That little interaction in the hallway was short but needed. It showed that we no longer held any bad feelings towards each other. It was clear that Harry and Lia were back together, the whole world knew now. Maybe that was why he hadn't reached out to me anymore. I didn't hate him for getting back with her. She was good for him. She kept him grounded. I was the one who ruined that for both of them.