I'm a pretty mess// Adore Delano

Stone Cold

Dust speckled in the air as the light shone through the window, leaving a criss-cross pattern on the tiled floor.

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I dropped eleven red roses onto Danny's freshly covered grave; one by one. I stepped back as Luna threw a single white rose. She stepped into my arms, holding her head to my chest and squeezing me tightly. My tears fell in her curled, white hair.

Luna stepped away and wiped her eyes with a tissue, before placing it back in her pocket. "I'm going to the toilet" she croaked out. I nodded and watched as she walked away slowly. Fresh tears fell from my eyes as I slumped against the headstone. It read;

Danny A. Noriega

1989-2019

Wonderful Son, Brother,

Husband and Father.

Love you, Angel xx

I traced over the word 'Angel' lightly, my fingers barely touching the cold cement. I shifted, hugging my knees and letting my head fall back, resting on the stone.

You never really see it coming do you? I knew he was sick, I was too scared to ask him about it in case I made it worse. Its all my fault really. It sounds horrible to say but I expected this, deep down in the back of my mind I knew it was going to happen, but I was too scared to say anything. I learned that you can expect it all you want but no matter what, it's still always hits you like a truck; and suddenly they're gone and you never even got to say goodbye. I learned that ten years ago; with my parents.

I got up and brushed the dirt of the back of my thighs before wiping my tears and wandering deeper into the grounds of the old church. I reached a small, rotting shed and turned left, walking for another 30 seconds before reached two headstones pushed tightly together. I sat in front of them and picked at the loose stones on the path.

"I'm back." I whispered without looking up, letting out a light chuckle, my voice hoarse and croaky from crying. I looked up at the two headstones staring back me.

Jack James Evans Riley Arabella Evans

1966-2009 1969-2009

xx xx

I remember the eeriness of that phone call, forever burned into my brain. I remember my auntie Kaya coming to look after the house while my parents went on a business trip in Boston for the week; sure I was 19 but they couldn't trust me and I didn't blame them. I remember watching cartoons in my room when I heard Kaya on the phone. She sounded sad; like she was crying? I turned my TV down to hear but it was still unclear.

Walking to the top of the stairs I watched as she hung up and sobbed. "Kaya?" She turned and looked me.

"James, I-" she couldn't finish. I ran over to her before she collapsed I sobs. My mind racing with thoughts; none of them good.

She eventually calmed down once I'd managed to guide her to the couch. She grabbed my hands in hers. "James," She took in a deep, shaky breath, "That was Boston State Hospital on the phone," My heart pounded- please don't say it- "It's your parents. They-" I took my hands back and placed them on my lap, not looking at her, but staring at the coffee table.

"Are they gone?" I said, voice barely above a whisper. I heard her sob and knew what the answer was. I kept my gaze fixed onto the table, tears pouring and my heart throbbing. I couldn't feel it; I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't breathe but that wasn't a problem right now.

All I remember from that point forward was auntie Kaya shouting my name, and then darkness.

I later found out that their car was hit by a truck filled with fuel. They died instantly. Together.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks and threw the pebble that was in my hand. They were so deeply in love, they grew up together, and they died together. I let my best friend for life die on his own. But I couldn't leave Luna on her own; it isn't fair... life's not fair.

"No, they taught me this ten years ago, the negative thoughts are just that, thoughts. They have no control unless you let them, and you're stronger than that." I kept repeating out loud over and over again.

"Hey." Whispered a voice next to me. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Luna crouched next to me, her eyes were bloodshot and her face was red. She sat on the gravel next to me and rested her head on my shoulders. I grabbed her hand and laced our fingers together, squeezing her hand tight. "They're proud of you, you know." she spoke up after a while.

"What?" I questioned, looking down at her.

"Your parents, they're so proud of you. For the amazing person you've become. And how strong you are; you've kept going, not all people-" She started, sighing instead of finished her sentence. I squeezed her hand again.

"I love you kiddo, and I'm so proud of you, too. For how far you've come, how strong you've become."

"I love you, dad." I placed a kiss on the top her head. We got up and walked back to Danny.

"Where's B?" I asked, as we walked along the path. Luna pointed to Danny's grave where Bianca was sat talking to him, crying, but laughing. I went and sat next to her, and Luna next to me. Bianca looked at me and smiled, before wiping her tears.

"Bitches don't cry, am I right?" I said lightly, nudging her. She chuckled and placed her head on my shoulder.

"How are you? Genuinely." She asked, throwing me slightly off-guard. I sighed,

"I'm okay. I'm- It fucking hurts B, it hurts a lot. I don't know what to do with myself." I broke down, once again. Luna was quick to wrap her arms tightly around me, causing me to hold her arms tightly in return. Bianca did the same as I moved one hand onto her arms too.

We sat like that for a while, until I'd calmed down, when Bianca finally spoke up.

"The first thing you're going to do is were all going to get into my car because it's fucking freezing. Then you're coming to stay at mine, you don't need to go back right now, I don't want you too. Come on." She stood up as her and Luna helped me up. My knees went weak as I tried to stand, Luna luckily holding my back, stopping me from falling. I smiled weakly at her. Leaning on them both, I managed to walk to Bianca's car and lie in the back.

I thought falling asleep would be difficult when something so terrible happens. When I'd found out about my parents, I didn't sleep for days on end, I became nothing, just a body in my bed wasting away.

But this time, I was so mentally and physically exhausted, I somehow managed to slip into darkness.

Even if it was just temporary.

fin.

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