Hold You Down (August Alsina Story)(editing)

Ch 31: Break Down

I'm not good at funeral's so for me to go too Drew's and actually be strong was unbelievable.The choir sang so many dwelling  songs that made it even sadder and the preacher said some encouraging words that i will be taking home with me. Every now and then some one spoke and told great stories about Drew, i don't know how they went up there and talked into the mic. His mom even spoke, I could tell she was trying to hold it in. It didn't last because when she was at her last word she broke down and Ms.Shelia went up to the front to comfort her sister.

The preacher stated that it's ok to let it all out. That's what you are suppose to do when somebody important to you left your life. They can be dead or not, it's ok to cry. Holding it in isn't good because it's going to build up and then you might become depress.

After the funeral and going to the burial site everyone ended up at Ms.Shelia's house. I felt comfortable as i walked thru the doors. I notice how everyone was trying to have a good time, laughing, smiling and talking about the good ole times they had with Drew. I felt like family the way they accpected me, maybe they are just trying to be nice.

I entered the kitchen hoping to find August, i still haven't got a chance to speak to him. I just wanted so bad to go talk to him after the funeral but he was no where to be found. Farrah dumb ass texted  me earlier today talking about "remember don't force him to talk." like tf. When i go see him ima march my ass over to where he's at and snap on him. Because what he did was soo not cool, don't shut down when someone is trying to comfort you, I couldn't even do that cause he was ignoring me, EVERY person in his life and he ignored him.

"hey everybody." i waved as i walked into the kitchen.

The smell of fried chicken hit my nose as i fully walked into there. Ms.Shelia turned around and her face lite up when she seen me. 

"hey sweety, it's been awhile." she said pulling me into a big graceful hug.

"yea it has." i said back. 

I like the way she gives off a nice motherly vibe. I haven't seen her since my birthday dinner, i thought maybe that she'll come and visit August more , but i learned over the time that she doesn't like riding on the plane  & she said she wasn't going to drive to Atlanta for awhile since last time it was a far drive.

She seen the concern look in my eyes when i seen August standing outside on the back porch.

"he's been like that ever since it happen." she informed me. "not talking to no one." she said.

I kinda felt a little bit happy since i'm not the only one he's been ignoring.

"maybe he'll talk to you." she rubbed my back and i felt a little bit of less nervous.

I took a deep breath  and walked towards the screen door, I slid the glass door. The hot NOLA heat hit my face as i stepped outside. I closed the door behind. Took another deep breath, fixed my black dress and walked towards him. 

I hesitantly placed my hand on top of his as he's leaning on the railing. I thought he was going to flinched but he didn't. It was silent outside for 3 minutes before he spoke.

"I-I still can't believe it..." he quietly spoke.

I placed my hand on his back and rubbed it.

"w-we" he coke on his words "was just hanging out." his voice cracked in the process of him talking.

"ya..know..l-life" he held his lip in to try and stop the tears from coming.

"dat...was.. ma n-nigga." he stumbled over his words.

I felt rush of tears coming over me as i pulled him into me and heard his cries. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he was crying into my neck. 

"it's ok baby...let it all out." i whispered into his ear. His hands wrapped around ma waist pulling us close.

Hearing and watching him break down is emotional for me, knowing that he's hurting, but i''m glad that he's letting it all out. 

After 5 minutes of consoling him he pulled away.

I wiped away the tears that stayed on his cheeks with my thumbs. "i'm here for you...i'll always be here for you." i said looking into his glossy eyes.

"thanks ma." he kissed ma forehead.

~

I KNOW IT'S SHORT BUT..I JUST HAD THIS ON MY MIND AND DEICED TO TYPE IT OUT