Dreams (Zarry)

Chapter 15

Six months later and I touched down back in London. I couldn't wait to go home. However, I had been away for such a long time that I couldn't even remember what it felt like to be home. I had my three mates with me and we had had a blast over the last couple of weeks. They had joined me on my tour just before my show in LA. Touring around the States with them by my side had made the last weeks of my tour even better than the beginning. I hadn't expected that it could get any better, because I was having the time of my life no matter where I was. Having Liam, Niall and Louis with me reminded me a little bit of my dream. It almost felt like when we were in the band, as I could share my experiences almost directly with them. Only difference was that they were not on stage with me, and I told them everything after each show. But they stayed on the tour bus with me and we stayed up late each night, talking and laughing and reminiscing about the good old days and dreaming about what the future would hold.

I hadn't talked about Harry. I had never mentioned anything to them of what had happened between him and me. Sure, they had asked me about him, but I was vague and after a few questions from them that I only answered shortly, they realized I wouldn't say more. I was reminded of him every day however. A lot of the songs I performed each night had been inspired by him. But I tried not to dwell on that, but instead I focused on the atmosphere, my musicians and especially my fans. They made each and every show unforgettable.

The shows though! How should I describe them? How should I put into words what it felt like on stage every night, performing my songs to people that appreciated them, people that sang them back to me, that openly showed their love. Every show had been an experience, different and fantastic and my fans were unbelievable, just wonderful people all around the world. I felt so proud every time they sang along with me. I had never expected those reactions.

My fans being such incredible human beings, surprisingly, they also helped me keep my anxiety at bay. I had come to terms with the fact that that would always be hanging over my head. I sometimes felt overwhelmed and unsure, but I hadn't had another anxiety attack and I knew the reason for that was that my fans were respectful and amazing.

In some places I actually had the chance to get out and experience the city I was at. I had the opportunity to meet some of my fans. I couldn't count the amount of pictures I took with them or the amount of autographs I gave. But everywhere I went I was greeted with love and appreciation. I knew I was the luckiest person on the planet. I adored my fans and would forever be grateful to them for everything they had done for me.

I had gotten a little emotional during the last show. I hadn't wanted it to end. I had wiped away some tears at the end of the show when I had said my final goodbyes to the audience. It had been the most wonderful experience of my life and it would stay with me for the rest of my life. I would have loved to share some of that with Harry, but that was only a fleeting thought that I shook off quickly.

I couldn't wait to go on tour again. But of course for that I first had to work on some new music. So, that was what I was doing from the moment I had gotten back to London. I had thrown myself into the work and locked myself away for a while to write. I had so much to say, so much to put into words, into songs. Time became a blur and for a few months I was doing nothing but writing and recording, writing and recording. I had the chance to work with some awesome people and we had gotten down a lot of good stuff. But when it came down to putting it all into a record I had trouble. I had so much to choose from and had no idea how to decide what should go on and how. I couldn't make up my mind on what I wanted the new record to sound and feel like.

So, I thought a break was in order. In a moment of inspiration I decided to spend a few weeks in New York. I even chose to just rent an apartment for the time, instead of staying at a hotel. I just wanted to be by myself for a while and explore the city. Also, I considered maybe keeping that apartment long term. I had fallen in love with New York over the times I had visited the city. I contemplated briefly moving there full time, but I would miss my friends and family too much, so for now I thought it would be a nice place to go to every once in a while.

So, I made my plans and informed my management. They weren't happy, but I didn't care. I packed a few clothes and my favorite guitar and was on my way.

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A/N: Hey guys, sorry for not updating for a few days. I'm feeling a bit under the weather at the moment. Here is a short filler chapter. The next one will be up later today. I hope you still like my story. As always I appreciate any comments and thanks so much for reading.