Know Child of Mind (Completed)

Just Thinking

I wake up and my alarm clock says I'm overdue
Should I fake sickness?
I missed my bus already anyway

I check my phone and sigh as the warmth of my covers leave my long arms
When I was a kid I thought I could reach the sky with my arms if I reached enough

Why didn't anyone wake me up?
And of course it's Saturday
It's crazy how I get my days mixed up
Maybe I'm meant to live in another country

I think about packing my bags and traveling with a beautiful stranger on a boat through the cosmos
It's no surprise the majority of my texts are from girls

If I say some generic things everything is smooth but if I say the stuff that is on my mind I always get huh?

It's okay though. My thoughts belong to me but sharing them makes me both irritated and happy

I just want to find someone to relate to but honestly I'll probably run away like I never existed

I'm my own ghost
Willingly
Uncomfortably
Regrettably
So

These covers are like a worn out soft hug but if I hug it back I'll be cold again
And that's when I remember the girl in the snow
My daughter from future

I ask to the faces in my phone who pranked me
No admissions of guilt
Only question marks that could be disguised as silent laughter

It's time to get up my belly mumbles
But I stay a little longer in the gentle comfort before I throw it away and do my morning excercises

I get urges to run
to be free
to matter
to make a difference

If I'm smart I'll do what I love everyday
But I'm indifferent to love
And build bridges far enough to see it but never touch it

Never have to experience the loss of it again
Looking like a man
Feeling like a sad child

I get ready
Warm water sighing over my bones
I feel older than I am

I pick clothes to match my mood
A bowl of happiness, coconut water, milk and brown sugar
Oatmeal
It's a beautiful mixture
The house is empty
What to do?
What should I do today?

And she was all I thought of
I hear playful laughter again
I want to accept the loneliness
I want to embrace for a few more hours

I watch a few funny videos on my laptop before I can't take it anymore
To the tree of lost thoughts
To the tree of her beginning