Life With The Uries (The Urie's Daughter Adopted By Brendon Urie) Book 3

Hands To Myself

Ryleigh
After awhile, the horrors ended and it went black behind my eyelids. The doctor just told my family that I pulled through okay and I was in Recovery. I sighed and finally let myself rest. I was only out for a few hours, though. I woke up in my hospital room, not the recovery ward.

"Zack? Dad? Mom?"I called out weakly. Dad and Zack were up at my side in an instant with Mom right behind them. "Hey, babygirl,"Dad said as mom came to my other side and stroked my hair. "Are you in pain? I can go get the nurse,"Zack offered, not quite sure what to do. There wasn't room, I wasn't crowded enough. I shook my head no. "Just tired,"I said. "You just had surgery. Appendicitis,"Dad said. I nodded sleepily. "Zack?"I asked. He stepped closer.

"Yeah?"he asked softly as he looked up at me with those gorgeous brownish green eyes. "Can you lie with me?"I asked. He nodded. Dad looked a little hurt and I instantly felt guilty. Zack carefully eased onto the bed. "When do I get out of here?"I mumbled. "5 days. Don't worry about that now. Just rest,"Dad said. Then I drifted back into my own dreamland that occasionally brought the past in to haunt me.

Time skip: 2 Months

Ryleigh
I hate thinking back on how much of my life was spent in the hospital these last few months. I had to start therapy a bit ago to work with my wrist and collarbone. Most of the broken bones have healed. However, I still can't walk. It's a mystery to the doctors. We were hoping I could stand by now but I can't. Most days, I honestly just want out of everything including this life. My depression has settled like a heavy and thick fog I can't shake off.

I'll never forget the damage I've done. I tried to stand on my own about a month ago. I wanted a razor to find some relief. I've been struggling with it. This accident has had me clean for two and a half months now. My mind was itching for the relief the pain brought. I didn't find the razor. I didn't even stand. I collapsed on the floor and I just started sobbing. Mom went to the grocery store so Zack and Dad were with me. They came running when they heard the thump. I couldn't explain my thoughts to them. I was crying so hard that I couldn't talk at all.

They kept asking me if I was okay and what hurt but it was too complicated. No, I wasn't okay and everything hurt. My mind. My heart. My soul. My body. I was broken. Dad consulted my doctor who suggested Antidepressants. I've avoided them like the plague. They've sat staring at me from my night stand the whole time. I was so sick of medication.

I was sitting on my bed, staring at the wall. I was months ahead for school thanks to my computer. I couldn't write. It sucked. My lunch, a turkey sandwich, was left uneaten on the night stand, too. I couldn't bare to eat. My stomach was hungry. My body craved food to survive. However, I couldn't because my mind didn't. How do you live in a body that wants to live with a mind that only wants to die? You don't. You just waste away and destroy everything around you in the process.

"Please, eat it for me,"Dad begged as he sat next to my unusable legs. I shook my head no. He sighed. "How long are you going to keep doing this? Until another hospital stay. Until you destroy everything good left in your life,"Dad asked gently. "I. Can't. Fucking. Walk."I said through gritted teeth. "That doesn't affect your ability to eat, Ryleigh,"he said.

"Then you tell me what good that's left because right now all I see is a cloud of darkness, with no light at the end of the tunnel,"I said, angrily. I wasn't even that angry with him. I was angry that I put everyone's lives on hold. "Have you taken your meds?"Dad asked. I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow. "They're going to help you,"he said. "Oh, like your ADHD medicine did for you in elementary school. I'll let you know when I need some medication to make me all feel good and happy,"I seethed. He stood up and left. "Way to go, idiot,"I thought. I was in one of my moods and I was taking my anger out on the wrong person again. I knew he just wanted to help.

Hell, he probably blamed himself. If only he would have made me stay home this tour, right? I sighed again. Suddenly, my phone began buzzing. I picked it up. Zack was calling. That's odd. He was at a meeting with their manager and the guys right now. I answered it. I wasn't greeted with hello.

"What the hell, man? You haven't told her, yet,"Alex yelled. Huh? Told me what. "Alex, back off. Now isn't the right time,"Zack said. "It isn't the right time. It's been two and a half months. She's been out of the hospital for two of those,"Alex screamed. "Woah, Alex!"Rian's voice interrupted. "He fucking made out with a prostitute while she was in a coma. You know. The blonde. Raquel, Monica, or Rachel or whatever the hell her name was. Big boobs and red lips,"Alex yelled.

"I'm not the bad guy here. I was drunk and out of it. I didn't know what I was doing,"Zack whispered. "BULLSHIT! You knew. You fucking knew,"he yelled and repeated over and over. What the actual hell? I couldn't listen to anymore. I stared out the window at the pool. Zack came in hours later and climbed into bed to cuddle with me and help with my nightmares.

"Hey, babe. I missed you,"he said and nuzzled my neck. I didn't say anything just stared ahead. "Is everything okay?"he asked as he sat up enough to look at me. I looked at him and it was then he took in my bloodshot, red rimmed, tearfilled eyes. "When were you going to tell me? Were you ever going to tell me?"I asked softly and coldly. "Tell you?"he trailed off in question. "You called me earlier,"I said. "Oh shit! I must've butt dialed you, I'm so sorry. You weren't meant to hear that,"he said. "Answer my questions,"I said. He stayed quiet.

"You weren't going to tell me were you?"I asked. "Listen here. I'm not even that angry that you did it. I'm angry because you've had two and a half months and you said nothing. You kept this a secret from me for that long and you weren't going to say anything,"I said. "I---,"he said but I cut him off. "Just get out. I can't do this right now. We're through,"I said quietly. He hesitated. "GET OUT!"I screamed. He did as I asked and he left my room, shutting the door on his way out. As soon as it shut, the tears and sobs broke loose. Did I make the right choice? What the hell just happened?