Two Violins, One Love, BAE

Chapter 20 A curious case of hanahaki among the erinaceinae of Australasia

"Here," Brett handed Eddy a glass of water and watched him drink. Eddy's lips were very red, his skin was flushed, and his eyes shone, dark, feline under the black eye-lashes. Eddy offered him back the glass half full. "No, you finish it," Brett said. He stretched out his hand and brushed Eddy's thick hair from his forehead.

"Can we go just the two of us somewhere nice, tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yes, please," Eddy replied. "Where?"

"Kaffee Amadeus?"

"I'd love that. Thank you." Eddy placed the empty glass on the bedside table and lifted the duvet. "Coming in?" he asked as he wrapped it around Brett's shoulders.

"I'm welcomed in the nest, in Eddy's cocoon," Brett replied.

"You always are. That's your problem, you think you're not but you always are."

Brett didn't reply. He put his head on the pillow next to Eddy and wrapped an arm round his lover's waist, feeling his chest against his. Their foreheads touching.

"But I can do cuddles now," he said after a while. "... why are you laughing?" he asked. "I can do cuddles extremely well!"

"I know you can," Eddy replied.

"Your family's different. In mine, they don't do cuddles. It's the culture. They're very loving, but they keep it inside."

"I know they are," Eddy said.

"All their stuff, they keep it locked inside. We're always walking passed each other's locked doors. But you've helped me."

"I know," Eddy said.

Brett felt his lover's lips press on his for a long time, and he closed his eyes. He breathed in the smell of Eddy's skin, the musk and the cinnamon, he breathed him all, and all the memories of him, deep inside himself.

"You've helped me when I was down," he said after a while, in a smaller voice. "You've had my back. I know that. I haven't always been very grateful."

"Maybe it's not gratefulness I'm after."

"No?"

"It's more about connecting the dots," Eddy replied. "Your feelings, connect them. Otherwise I end up doing it for you."

"It's... quite scary," Brett said very quietly.

"I'd be there."

"I know," Brett said.

"What's the worst that could happen if you did connect the dots?" Eddy asked.

"I don't know."

Brett turned to lie on his back and pulled Eddy towards him, cradling him until he lay on his shoulder with his forehead against Brett's cheek. He stroked his lover's hair and kissed it, stroked his shoulder, his neck. He listened to Eddy's breathing, felt his chest rise and fall against him. But after a while he had to accept that Eddy was still not asleep.

"You okay?" he whispered.

"I love you," Eddy replied.

And after a moment, Brett sighed and said, "but..."

"... but I know you'll be acting like a jerk again some time soon, because you always do," Eddy said.

"Dude..."

"It's all right." Eddy raised himself on an elbow and pressed a finger against Brett's lips. "I'm used to it now," he went on. "Just tell me something."

"What?... You know I don't... I don't do stuff, like talk... about stuff like..."

"...like feelings?" Eddy asked.

"Yeah. That stuff... I have them! Feelings... I do. I just can't find the words..."

"Okay," Eddy said. "So just tell me something, anything, that'll help me keep my faith for when you're a jerk again."

"Oh..."

"Give it a go," Eddy insisted. Brett glanced up at the catlike eyes, and saw them flash just before Eddy settled back on Brett's shoulder. He began caressing Brett's chest, drawing little circles with his fingers, stroking his neck and his adam's apple, and back to his chest again.

"Mmmm?" Eddy said. Brett heard mischief in his voice and thought he was performing some kind of spell on him.

And the spell was probably, "you have no escape route out of this, so don't even try." Brett had to come up with something. He raked his brains. There was something maybe... a very small, private something, he had never told his lover. Maybe, he could...

"Er... you know... that first weekend we spent... just you and me at your parents?" Brett said, "...when you cooked your first... of many... burned Kung Pao chicken... Ouch! Not my nipples. Aaargh. Stop! Stop! Er... oh god, now I'm lost..."

"Carry on," Eddy ordered.

Brett conjured up the image of Eddy's parents' house in his mind. "They'd all gone. Coz your gran was ill, remember? Just you and me. The first time... er..."

"Yes. Of course, I remember," Eddy said.

"We went to the park the next day."

"Yes. We talked how we'd start making videos, create a youtube channel..." Eddy replied.

"So, yeah... we sat on the grass and chatted for hours, and you'd found some flowers in the grass, and you were playing with them with your fingers-"

"Because I had hanahaki disease," Eddy interrupted.

"Whaat?... Ooh god, oh my god... but I cured you..." Brett said.

"You took your time. The night you told me you were hanging out with your 'girlfriend' I vomited flowers all the way home."

"I was confused. Oh god... I was so confused. I didn't even know... if you wanted to see me again... I... but I kissed you and you were cured," Brett took Eddy's head between his hands, and kissed him, again and again. "I did cure you," he said. "In the end. I did, didn't I?"

"A week later... but if I spend the rest of my life with you, I know I'll be coughing the odd petal from time to time. So, carry on. Try."

"Okay... er... When we were leaving the park," Brett continued, "I waited until you were looking away, and I picked the flower from the grass... that you were playing with. I hid it in my pocket..."

Brett hesitated. "It's... it's behind one of the frames above the piano, at my parents'. It's... still there." Brett stopped talking. He waited for Eddy to say something. Anything. But his lover remained silent. He lifted his head off the pillow, trying to see Eddy's face. "Will that... will that do?" he whispered.

"Yes. Thank you."

Brett wrapped his arms round Eddy's shoulders and cradled him against his chest until he could feel his lover's breath against his neck. When it was steady, he breathed deeply. His hedgehog was snoring a soft, even purr. Now he could sleep too.