Two Violins, One Love, BAE

Chapter 19 From the leading tone back to the root

(This fic is yaoi. The emotions and the intimacy are mature. You may wish to skip and wait for the next chapter)

Brett pushed open the bedroom door. He was gasping for air, and shaking. The adrenaline was pulsing round his body so badly, stars flickered on the edges of his vision. His chest was heaving with every breath, and his lungs hurt. He paused and stared at the shape on the bed. Wrapped up in his duvet. In his cocoon. Again. Brett sat on the edge of the bed and switched on the bedside lamp. Eddy had a scarf across his eyes. He was completely still, his face hidden. "Shit, man... where the fuck have you been..." Brett said. He leaned forward and rested his hand on Eddy's pillow. It was wet.

Brett jumped back and clenched his fists. It was just too easy. Too, too fucking easy for some. Always wearing their heart, their feelings, on their sleeves. They could cry like children. They could cry like other people drunk tea. Easy for some, huh?! Brett spun round and left the room. He was still shaking but now it was with anger. He walked round the flat trying to breathe through his nose, trying to calm down. He picked Eddy's phone from the table, and flipped it over. All his missed calls showed on the screen. He marched into the bathroom, cast off his clothes, and stepped inside the shower.

He stood under the water, feeling it run down his face, but after a minute he shouted, "Don't shut me out!" and he hit the walls of the shower with the side of his fists.

A moment later he walked back into the bedroom, wet and dripping from the shower. He grabbed the duvet and pulled it off. Eddy was naked, curled up on his side, his face in the pillow.

"What the fuck was that about? Why did you leave?! Why won't you answer your phone? I've run across half of Taipei looking for you!" Brett exclaimed. He sat on the bed and pushed down on Eddy's shoulder until he would face him.

"Do you really need to ask?" Eddy sneered, and he stared coldly at him. He turned his face away from Brett who grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him back towards him again.

"Yes, I bloody do! I fight off some drunk Yank for a few minutes, I turn round, and you're fucking gone!"

"Just drop it, all right? You've always been a flirt, Brett. A social butterfly, whatever you want to call it."

"What?! What are you on about?!" Brett shouted.

"You snog some guy, and you expect me to hang around and always carry a torch for you?!"

"I wasn't snogging him! He lunged at me! He was pissed!"

"Whatever... He also happened to be very good looking... what a coincidence." Eddy jeered.

"Oh, really? You noticed that, did you? Spotted him on the dance floor earlier, did you? Now look who's the whore!"

Eddy sat up in one quick movement, his arm raised. Brett only had a fraction of a second to raise his and block the blow.

"Don't you fucking dare!" Brett shouted. "Don't you fucking dare hit me!" And he jumped on top of Eddy, grabbed his wrists and pinned them above his head.

"Don't you dare call me that! You...! You...! Heartless... selfish... shithead!" Eddy spat, trying to release his arms.

Brett felt his strength increase manifold with his anger, and he held on Eddy's wrists, straddling him and leaning on him with all his weight.

"And this! This!... is your answer to everything!" Brett roared. "You close off, you withdraw, you're gone! Lock the door, and the rest of the world can go fuck itself! What a clever, smart guy, you are."

"You hurt me! Why should I hang around when you're hurting me?"

Brett heard something catch in Eddy's throat. He looked in his eyes but Eddy turned his head to one side and avoided his gaze.

"Why do you shut me out?!" Brett asked.

Eddy took a deep breath and didn't answer.

"Don't shut me out," Brett said.

"Don't hurt me, then."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Then, don't."

They were both heaving hard, and Brett lowered his head, trying to catch his breath. He watched Eddy's torso rise and fall with each intake of air. His skin glowed in the light of the bedside lamp. Slowly, he raised his gaze, resting his eyes on Eddy's neck, his chin, his mouth and at last, his eyes. He saw the question they contained. A question without words and for which he had no answer.

Brett released Eddy's wrists, and stretched out his whole body on top of his friend's. He raised himself on his elbows, and took Eddy's head between his hands. He could feel his heart pounding his eardrums, beating in his chest a hundred times a minute. He turned Eddy's face to one side and bit him, bit his cheek, his neck, his ear. Eddy yelped and quivered, and clawed his back.

Brett grabbed a handful of Eddy's hair, closed his fist tightly around it, and slowly pulled. Then he stopped, checked himself. Tried to control himself. He stroked Eddy's neck with his fingers, then sucked his skin, and again he bit him till he cried. Brett paused. He would draw blood if he wasn't careful. Anger was still coursing his veins, he could feel it. He tried to take a deep breath, closed his eyes. "Don't shut me out," he said, "Don't."

He turned Eddy's face towards his and brushed his lips against his lover's full, bursting red, mouth. Then he bit his lips. Again and again. Eddy's body writhed underneath his. Brett felt his lover's arms wrap around his shoulders. He pushed his tongue between Eddy's lips. He pushed deeper inside his mouth, pressing down on his face. Eddy moaned. He wound his legs around Brett's waist, holding him tightly.

"I don't want to hurt you," Brett said. Eddy's eyes were rolling back, but Brett put his hand behind Eddy's neck, and forced him to look at him. "I won't hurt you," he said. "Do you hear me?"

"Yes," Eddy whispered. "I know."

"I won't hurt you," Brett repeated. He pushed his fingers inside Eddy's mouth and watched his lips as they closed around them and sucked him. He trailed his tongue down Eddy's neck, and listened to his lover gasping for air as he pressed down on him with his whole body.

A question was bubbling up to the surface of his mind. It oppressed him. He tried to block it. Because asking it was to admit that the answer might be a negative, and he couldn't bear it.

Instead he put his other hand behind Eddy's neck and tilted his head towards him. He pulled his wet fingers out of his lover's mouth and rubbed them against his lover's face, watching the saliva spread around the bright red of his lips. "Spit in my hand," he told him. "Do it again." Then he spat in his hand too. "I won't hurt you," he said.

Eddy screamed, and Brett remained still. Just holding him, waiting, suspended. Eddy was breathing harder and faster, his legs wrapped around Brett's back, his fingers running through Brett's hair, pulling him down. Brett locked his hands behind Eddy's head, kissed him deeper, and pressed down on him. Eddy writhed, screamed again, and Brett stopped.

The question inside his mind grew more insistent. It was shaping into words. It was tearing through his heart. He couldn't block it anymore. Brett moaned with the pain of it. "Eddy, are you..." it said, "are you m-..." but he couldn't bear it, couldn't bear to hear it to the end. Instead, he pulled his lover's head towards him, covered his mouth tightly with his, and bore down against him. Eddy's body jolted and arched, his scream stifled by their two sealed mouths.

But the whole of him was inside his lover and the question wasn't a question anymore. It was an answer, and it rose up like a sun in his soul. "You're mine," Brett said.

Eddy moaned and rocked underneath him, with each ebb and flow of their bodies. Brett felt his lover's hands wrap around his head, pulling him down. He felt Eddy's mouth, his lips, searching his.

"I love you I love you I love you..." Eddy said again and again.

Brett slipped a hand underneath his lover's back, feeling his way down to where the spine begins to curve in. He felt the muscles twitch and flex against his fingers, he felt the strength that's coiled there, his lover's white-hot energy, right there, at the root.

A shiver ran up his body, and he pressed his lips against Eddy's ear. "You're mine," he said again.