Two Violins, One Love, BAE

Chapter 8 Tzigane Reloaded: sul tasto

Brett froze and his grin turned into a painful grimace. Oh, God, oh, shit, no, that wasn't the right moment at all, not anymore.

"I... no, nothing, I just..."

"All right. I've got something to tell you, then," Eddy said in a softer falsetto. "You know Caroline and Dew?"

"Yes. They go to my school," Brett replied.

"That's right. And Caroline's in your year."

"Er, yes," Brett said.

"There's no Martha in your year. Caroline doesn't think there's a Martha in your school at all. You don't even have a friend called Martha." And with an ear-splitting shrill, Eddy Tzigane shrieked, "YOU CHEAT ON ME WITH IMAGINARY BAE, HUH!!!"

Under the yellow crown of hair, Eddy's eyes were hurling thunder and lightning. He squeezed Brett's wrists who yelped with the pain.

"Oh, sorry," Eddy said in a small voice. He sighed and let go of Brett's arms. He began raising himself up but Brett grabbed him by the shoulders. "Eddy!" And that's all he could say. The shock, the feeling of shame was so overwhelming, his throat so constricted, he couldn't speak. He tried to take Eddy's arms and pull him towards himself. But Eddy shook his head and said in his own voice, "hey, man, no worries, was just kidding. Just messing around, right? You're my bro. It's cool. And er... sorry I hurt your wrists."

Eddy sat back on the floor and pulled the large wig off his head with a little smile in his friend's direction. He began unknotting the scarves round his body. Brett sat next to him and after a minute he managed to say, "Do you want me to help you with these?"

"Thanks," Eddy said. "My sister'll kill me if I damage them." He turned his back to Brett who set to work on the knots.

Eddy's back was covered in a sheen of sweat, and a faint smell of cinnamon rose from his skin. Brett undid the last knot and when the scarf dropped to the floor, he laid the palm of his hand against his friend's back. Eddy shuddered.

Brett wanted to say, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... but again the words stayed stuck in his throat. He rested his forehead against the nape of his friend, and pressed both his hands on his back. He took a deep breath, and the warm smell of Eddy's skin filled his lungs. He tried to quieten his breathing, but that was too hard, and his heart beat an odd meter of its own. Eddy didn't move, he just shivered from time to time, and Brett felt his skin quiver under his fingers.

Brett's mind was bare. He couldn't find any thought that could help him understand why he'd behaved the way he did, why he couldn't text Eddy, why he'd invented a girlfriend. No thought, and no word was rising above the confusion in his mind. 

Just a need. A need to hold Eddy and be as close to him as he would let him. He raised his head and kissed the back of his friend's neck. Eddy turned his face a little and threw him a sideways glance. Brett wrapped his arms round his waist and pulled him, gently, but not able to make himself stop, until Eddy's face was touching his.

He was looking down at the floor so Brett nuzzled his friend's cheek and waited. When their breathing had synchronised a little, he put his hand round the back of Eddy's head and ran his fingers through his hair.

In a corner of his mind there was still the expectation of thoughts, of something that would make sense, to arise and clear the turbulence inside him. He opened his mouth, willing words to come out. But Eddy turned his face towards his and kissed him. And everything inside Brett's head went as hazy and luminous and empty as the air over the sea.