Walked Away...Sort of...

Chapter 15

Let's get the party started shall we?!! Step inside my mystical time travel and travel to the time where disco was the coolest and when the dj would always make you look cooler. SORRY I love rhyming at times, but I apparently sucked at that. LML XD. This chapter is dedicated to one of my friends who have helped me come up with one of the scenes in this story. Hope you like it !  So lets actually start this chapter off shall we? In my own wise words."Yes, Yes we shall".

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Chapter 15:

I didn't tell him anything no matter how much he begged. And trust me that was hard to do considering four nurses, his mother and the doctor were by my  bed telling me to "Just tell him!". I wouldn't though, if he wouldn't go to treat his cancer because I said no, then that's his problem. I know I sound mean but seriously, I refuse to tell him. I would look like a bigger heartless jerk if I told him how depressed all this made me feel. It was not right for me to tell him and he wouldn't understand that; no matter how many times I explained to him that what I wanted to say is not important. 

I now learned to hate keeping things away from him, but somethings are better kept a secret. It didn't matter how much pain I felt in my heart I won't pass that pain around and share it with him. My feelings are not a sandwich so there nothing good about it. And it was too inconsiderate considering that he had cancer and he was going through more pain than I have had so far. 

The doctors forced him to take his medication and of course he needed to agree; his mother wouldn't leave until he did (took him three days). After that he became silent around me and would give me the cold shoulder.

I hated being ignored but after years of being brutally beaten you appreciated the fact of being invisible. You wouldn't feel hurt, ashamed, embarrassed and most of all your pride and joy wouldn't decrease by miles. So you can say it was awkward for me to also ignore him since that's what I shouldv'e been doing in the first place but he just captivated me when he told me that he loved me. And I couldn't refuse that. I hated him but there was this weird sense of passion and love showering him from head to toe when he told me that. 

At first I was speechless and left with my mouth opened but I just blurred that I loved him too. I wasn't expecting myself to do that and by the way he was left astonished I could guess he wasn't expecting me to say that either. I closed my mouth and covered it with one of my hands before I could get anything else my body was holding back; even from me. 

But that seems like it happened decades ago because right now, I was soon going to be released out the hospital in 10 days maximum. I didn't want to leave the Drake I learned to love here, alone. I know he has his mothers and brothers and sisters but he always said I was the one thing missing in his life until now. I can't leave after he had said that.

It would break my heart to leave him here, without me, without my comfort, without him comforting me, without him caressing my cheeks and kissing my forehead. Now that I think about it, I need him more than I believe he needs me. And in the my last days here, he tried to ignore me, it gives me a helpless feeling that envelopes me in even more depression and fills my eyes with tears waiting to be spilled. 

I just sit on this bed all day long and write, I write poems. Sure they aren't great or pleasent at times, but my life isn't pleasent so why write about a life I haven't known for so long. Course, I occasionally write about Drake and sometimes even sketch him.

I sound obsessed with him but the turth is I'm obseessed with the love he gives me, his smile, his personality and his kind heart.

I'm still trying to prepare myself for all the heart ache and all the stress I'm going to have go through when I leave this hospital. I think of this place as a hiding place, no pain for a while and no heart ache, no tears for the remainder of my time here.