Chim - Don't Help Me

Chapter 31

"... I need you to believe us Kimba."

Cheryl's eyes bore into mine, gauging for any sort of reaction in my stunned, watery ones. Watery from what? From yelling? Or watery from pure emotion, the feeling of her lips on mine?

She is still staring at me, her eyes silently pleading for an answer; some sort of clue, as though she can find it in my eyes. In my soul. And it clouds my judgement. I can't tear my eyes away. I can't walk away from the situation, leaving her sat alone, still waiting. And I can't break down and cry. I can't choose any of them. God knows I can't tell her how I really feel, how she broke me.

I'm trying to make a decision, trying helplessly to form some sort of response, some sort of clarification in her mind that all this is real. I want to cry, telling her that I believe her and kissing her perfect soft skin all over. But inside I'm not sure that I do believe her. I'm not sure that I can.

Cheryl's hand slides down my face, slowly, in defeat. She drops it into her lap, sinking her head down in the process.

"You don't believe us? Do you? Kimba... You don't." She breathes out, starting to mumble and cry.

I can't seem to formulate any sort of acceptable response, one that would help the situation, justify why I couldn't tell her what she needed to hear. Her bottom lip quivers, her eyes showing all the emotion over the past month, overflowing with pain. It takes all the strength in my body not to hold her. It summons every fiber of my being not to whisper to her what she needs to hear. And I don't tell her I trust her, believe her. At this point, that would be lying.

I think of everything she has ever said to me, how she told me she loved me, how she asked me never to leave her, made me promise. And that's when I start to think, she knows what it's like to be left, she knows what it's like to feel alone, surely she could never to that to me if she didn't have a reason? Other than Justin, of course. Surely she wouldn't just leave me like that.

I think of our first kiss, proper one. The way her lips collided with mine, sending shockwaves through my body. The way the tingling sensation of our salty mixed tears sent butterflies erupting in my stomach. I want that feeling again. Before our hearts can't take any more.

I lift her head up under her chin, her eyes dart instinctively towards mine, fleeting, searching all over my face. And then I lean in. All my feelings are out the window, pushed to one side, my premonitions forgotten, I just need her lips on mine.

I push them onto hers, feeling her tentatively start kissing me back. Her hands shake as they find their way to my face, as if she's hanging on for dear life. I moan as she prys my mouth open with her tongue, probing and exploring like she never had done before. And even now, I can't let her take control, not that easily.

Cheryl gasps as I push her backwards, further into the cushions on her expensive cream couch, my hands running up and down the length of her perfect, bronzed body. Her perfect bruised body. Her battered body. I pull away from her lips, kissing a trail down her body, slowly, carefully. She groans audibly as I reach around and cup her ass, pulling her closer to me as I continue my exploration. Lifting up her shirt slowly, I kiss every mark, every bruise that he left there. The cut. The cut that somebody left there. Somebody who had no right to have their hands touching her body. Her perfect body. The body that is driving me absolutely mental.

Cheryl reaches down, cupping my face in her hands and guiding me up to eye-level. She is silent for a moment, studying my face, asking questions with her eyes. I bite my bottom lip, trying to hold out from kissing her for as long as I can, but I'm weak. I crash my lips onto hers again, and she gladly reciprocates. I gasp as she pushes her knee between my legs, encouraging me to rock back and forth, each rock creating more friction than the last. And it feels so good. Too good. My moans are getting louder by the second, each touch she places on my body turning me on even more. I lean down for yet another passionate kiss, our tongues dancing together in unison, moulding together until I can't help but let out my loudest groan yet.