My Thoughts

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guys I just want to talk about BTS's speech at MAMA.

After hearing the speech it made me really emotional.

And i really sat in my bed for a couple of hours just thinking and

Knowing that I almost lost the most precious thing in the world and I didnt even know that I was gonna lose it.

and that  Really hit me hard.

And then i got this sense of Guilt.

They work day and night.

to make us happy.

But I feel horrible that I am not able to do anything for them.

I can't hug them when they feel like they aren't worth anything.

I can't be there for them when they cry out the feelings that are being held inside of them.

I can't hold their hands and tell them to breathe when they push themselves too hard.

I can't physically protect them from the negative things that will break their hearts.

I can't take them anywhere to just let them relax and enjoy their life. Be themselves and not  be just a member of BTS

And inside of me I cry, that they suffer, put their life on a line

for us.

How can I repay them??

What can I give back to them??

I tried to tell myself that, the best thing I can do right now

is support them

love them

do whatever I can to make sure they are standing tall.

But then I think

What if my support that i bring. The opportunities that comes

brings them more pressure,
more expectations to met.

More hours to make sure that they are perfect

Is that really helping them?

I cry and

I'm confused.

am I actually bringing more happiness to them or creating a higher line of expectations that they have to meet.

lol sorry. this just been on my mind and i just wanted to write it out instead of keeping it in.

Tell me am I just being dramatic??

Im sorry if I am.

it's just..... I dont know.

it's 3 am I should sleep.



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