11 | moving quickly

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It had been three days. Three days since I tried to touch Zeke. I had not tried to since nor had I told anyone. Zeke had occasionally looked over almost longingly at my hand but had made no move to hold it. Would I stop him? I wasn't sure. My feelings had been changing so rapidly I was beginning to become exhausted with myself. I had to stop thinking before my head exploded. Mum had noticed my current state of  mind and knew where my train of thinking had taken me.

She had sat me down and told me the story of when she met my father... a story I had heard a handful of times but this times she added how my father had decided he wanted a family. Despite not being able to hold the one she loved she explained how it was one of the two best thing that had ever happened to her and that I was the other. She knew very early on the I was like my father and was devestated when he died and that she realised she may never be able to hold me again. At this point I wanted to cry knowing I had let her down but she stopped and said that she had never been so happy. That when my father died she had accepted she could never hold me again but now that I had started to consider overcoming my fear she was overjoyed and no matter how long or if we never got there she would stand by me and love me.

This I knew. That she would love me no matter what but knowing everything else... it was then that I decided I would hold her and tell her how much she meant to me.

Zeke didn't mention it again. But I knew it was on his mind. He wanted to help me, he just didn't know how. But neither did I. How was I supposed to get over this fear. A fear i've had for years. It annoyed me to no end. My mind raging with ideas of things that could help.

I let out a deep sigh.

I picked up the book I was currently reading only to put it down again when I heard a tap at my window. A smile coming to my face before I had a chance to look up.

Zeke lent back into his own room, silently prompting me to open my window to which I obliged. He smiled at me before asking seriously "Have you ever thought about wearing gloves?"

I hadn't actually. Though I did wear them when I was younger the thought hadn't passed my mind this time around. "Iused to wear them when I was younger actually."

"And did they help?" his smile not once leaving his lips.

"They did actually." my smile dropping at the thought. "They did until my dad died." I sighed.

Zeke's posture noticeably dropped. "You've never talked about him before." he added after a moments thought.

"He wasn't really a good roll model when I was little. Part of the reason I am the way I am... maybe I'll tell you about him one day." I spoke softly.

"I'd like that." Zeke gave me one of his soft smiles. One that reached his eyes.

"I'd be willing to try gloves again I suppose though." I said louder this time. Hinting that I wanted the topic to change.

His posture changed immediately. He looked strong and ready to take on the world. (a/n: when i wrote this i could not fucking remember the the word confident and kept reciting every other word like it and just got annoyed hahaha thought it was funny bc I only just remembered now when writing the word content and having auto corrected to confident. sorry i know u don't care). And I'd take him seriously if it wasn't the wonky smile plastered back on his face. "Good." he said bringing his hand from behind his back. He was hold a medium sized box. "Because I've gotten you a present." He reached out of the window holding the box out for me to grab.

I slowly reach out and gently take the box from his hand. I look up to see him prompting me to open it. I breathe in as I lift up the lid, my eyes land on a pair of black gloves. I pull the out to realise they were almost elbow length... like in the older movies. Putting the box down I put one on, and then the other. They looked beautiful. They felt beautiful. Almost like a satin or silk. I look up to see Zeke happy and content. "They're beautiful. Thank you."

He looked over his shoulder towards his door before rolling his eyes. "I'd take credit but I know for a fact I have two mosey sisters with their ears pressed up against my door." He shook his head at me, the goofy grin still on his face.

"We aren't nosey!" the muffled yell from both the twins made its way to my ears.

"Then why.." Zeke said as he made his way to his door only to open it and have both girls fall down on top of each other making me laugh. "Why are you leaning on my door?" He learn against the wall with his arms crossed.

"I thought you were going to take credit." Alaina grumbled.

"I'd never do such a thing." he said putting his hands up in mock surrender.

Alira grumbled getting up.

"Alaina went on her date." Zeke said smirking.

"He took to a fancy dinner and an old movie." Alira chipped in loosing her distasteful look.

"That's where she got the idea. About the gloves I mean. Apparently in the move this old brood and by old brood I mean she's probably not with us anymore but back then she was real young and cute well she had these gloves and oh my god did I tell you the movie was in black and white." She started ranting. she stopped bluntly when he sister have her a sharp elbow to the side.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I wanted to talk to her about that." Alaina said sharply.

"Oh right we'll go ahead." Alira said leaning on the window sill looking at her sister expectantly.

And so she did. She told me all about her date while Alira looked on smiling and Zeke grumbled in the background.

a/n: i honestly don't know where i'm going with this book and that's so annoying bc i really loved it when i started it. it just seems like it's going so fast and predictable. i thought by writing this it would all magically come together but idk that definitely didn't work. hopefully if i just do a little bit every now and then i'll get some inspiration soon but i'm not sure. sorry if it's not as good as you'd wish....

so it's a few weeks after I wrote the bit just above and guess what. I was washing up and just as I finished and was about the wash my hands I realised that the bubbles looked like I was wearing gloves and slowing but surely I had images fluttering through my head about where this book would go and i'm glad. still will be really slow as I try to write a few chapters ahead rather than posting as soon as I finish and not being able to write for months. I'm happy though so yay.

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