she was untouchable.

16 | help me.

Waking up in Zeke's bed was an unusual experience. The sheets smelling of his deodorant.

Rolling over I see Zeke. He was on the ground bundled in a few blankets still asleep. As I'm about to step over him he wakes and looks up to me.

"Uh... just going to the bathroom?" I blurt out.

"You say that like you're asking me." He laughs though still stiff and still most likely from me standing over him.

"I'm going to the bathroom." I say moving to the side.

"Okay. You remember where it is?" He asks when I don't move. As if hit with an electric shock I laugh out a small yes and make my way out of the room.

"Where is everyone?" I ask as I come back into the room. After last night we had all come back and crashed at Zeke's, though before falling asleep they had all made a vote that I got the bed. Something I had objected too but I soon learned going against Fly wasn't very easy. Especially a drunk Fly.

"Aaron's mum called pissed so Nick drove him home and Fly had work." Zeke says as he stretches.

"And your family. Your sisters are usually pretty loud in the morning." I laugh.

"Mums at work and the girls are creating chaos at the movies probably. They've been asked to leave a few times already." Zeke shrugs.

"You know, you didn't have to sleep on the ground." I murmured feeling bad about him sleeping on the floor.

"What do you mean?" he asks, confusion lacing his voice.

"Whenever I slept in mums bed we'd put pillows in between us. She used to sleep on the floor but she always woke up cranky with a sore back." I smiled at the memory.

"Don't worry my backs not sore nor am I cranky." He laughed standing up.

My stomach growled loudly.

"Yeah I was just about to say I'm hungry. Do you like pancakes? It's about the only thing I can actually make." Zeke said looking over his shoulder at me.

"Sounds good." I replied jumping up from the bed.

"You said before your sisters have been kicked out of the movies, why?" I ask as I sit at the kitchen counter watching him gather the ingredients.

"They can get kinda emotional, either laughing too loud or throwing popcorn because their angry. Actually one time Alira threw a whole bucket of popcorn and it landed on a seven year olds head who then yelled 'I'm blind. Tom Cruise made me blind.' I think the whole place laughed so hard, but oh man was it embarrassing." Zeke shakes his head, a huge smile across his face. I pass him the pan when he reaches for it and then places it on the stove.

"Remind me not to go to the movies with them." I tell him. He laughs at this. A few seconds later he asks for the pancake mix to which I hand it to him.

His hand brushed against mine. The same thing that happened the day we met. Only it was different this time. It was worse.

"Oh crap. I'm sorry." He says dropping the mix.

"I uh- I need to wash my hands." I stutter out.

"Of course do you want me to wait here?" Zeke asks, concern laced through his voice.

"Yeah I'll be fine." I rush out.

My throats closing up and I can't seem to do a thing about it. My breathing becomes heavy and laboured. I can't seem to control it. I can't seem to concentrate. My chest tightens. All I can hear is the blood pumping though my vains. Faster. And faster. I reach for my chest pulling at the shirt. Trying, hoping for air. I can't do this. I take a big gasp of air and wobble back. My feet tripping over themselves. Scream. If only I could scream. They would be here to help. Tears stream down my face. I stumble again falling into the wall this time. Down on all fours trying to breathe. My heads heavy and I need to throw up but I keep dry reaching. I'm cold and hot. My vision. It feels like it's been hours. Hours of scratching at my chest for only a breath of air.

Zeke. I see Zeke now. He's saying something. Something I can't hear. His lips move but all I hear if the fast rhythm of my heartbeat. I try to tell him I don't understand but I can't. I'm on my back now. On the floor. Looking at the ceiling. My face wet with tears. I scream for Zeke but nothing comes out. Nothing.

His arms rap around my body and he picks me up. His skin on mine feeling like fire. He's still speaking. I can't hear the words but I know they're reassuring. He's taking me somewhere. Fast but not to fast. He puts me down. I'm in the shower on the floor. The water hits me like ice. His hands like fire hold my face to his as he speaks.

I don't know how long we're like this. In the cold shower on the ground. Clothes clad to our skin. He sits squished to the corner so to not touch me but it's small so his knee touches my own. I reach up to turn the shower off.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ruined pancakes." Is all I say. My voice hoarse from screaming and crying.

"No." he smiles. "Don't ever be sorry for that. For something you can't control." he sits for a few minutes before getting up and disappearing. He returns with a towel, waits for me to stand and then wraps it around me. "Get changed, I'll put your clothes in the dryer." He places some dry clothes on the counter then turns and leaves.

I reach for the doorknob once I'm dried and dressed. My limbs tired and sore from the attack. Zeke is there, dressed in only sweat pants, with his back to me.

"Drink." He instructs handing me a glass of water when he sees me. He then hands over two pills to help with the headache that wasn't going away any time soon.

"Sleep." Is all he has to say as I collapse onto his bed and close my eyes. Before sleep can fully take me away I feel a heavy blanket being draped over me taking the chill away.

"I'm sorry I'm a mess." I mumble, already half asleep.

"I'm not. Because you're my mess." He whispers.