Only Time

Ch. 4 ~ Thoughts (Legolas' POV)

          Upon returning back to Mirkwood, I could not stop thinking about the princess and her prowess on the battlefield. I got off of my steed and let the caretakers take him away. I went to my quarters and unstrapped my bow and arrows. My fingers lingered on one particular arrow as my thoughts took in the sight and sounds of her blade as it made quick work of the goblins. It was as if she and her stallion were both magical beings. As if they were not even really there. I felt like I had come upon a celestial beauty; like a powerful nymph of the wood realm. It was rare that an elf would not use a bow and arrow as their primary weapon but a sword instead like a human would. That mystified and confused me.

          I kept my thoughts to myself. I felt like I could not let her go, could not let her just slip away. I saw how that warrior Haldir looked upon her. He was in love with her though obviously she did not feel the same. And when he looked upon her that way during our first meeting, I felt a strange twinge in my breast. I dismissed the feelings as they were similar to jealousy but how could I be jealous of someone I just met and did not really know? I could not stop thinking about her and I am sure it showed as to how I treated Tauriel. She too was jealous that I was preoccupied mentally. Usually I would follow her and here was this new woman appearing out of nowhere and I was powerless to stop the feelings.

          I lay down that night but could not sleep. I had to find a way to see her again, though it would be weeks before it happened again and I was hoping that I could see her alone without Haldir and finally my wishes were answered but not in the way I had hoped. I came upon her fighting goblins with the strength and agility of many male elves. She was a power to be reckoned with. I just sat there and watched her. I was content with just watching her from the trees until I heard the goblins call for reinforcements and knew that I would have to step in and help. She was good but sheer ability would not be enough by the numbers and that is when I made my presence known to her by stopping a goblin in its tracks before it could harm her.

          It felt totally natural to fight side by side and after her initial shock, she went back to methodically killing the goblins as I followed suit. I was very impressed with her steed as well. Sunset, as she called him, was very well trained to handle himself in a crisis. He also knew when to get out of the way. We elves grow very attached to our steeds. They become like a part of ourselves, very special to us. So I could see how she and Sunset had bonded.

        After leaving her at the gates of Rivendell, I decided to take the chance and kiss her on the cheek. It was quite daring and bold of me and I knew I was chancing it but I could not resist the blush that entered her cheeks; it made her shine even more so. When I rode away, I decided that seeing her once on the off chance of a goblin attack was not enough and upon returning home, sat down with paper and quill pen in hand and wrote her a letter wanting her to know that I thought of her as more than just a casual companion. I had a feeling based on our conversation earlier and her facial expressions that she was trying to feel out what I was feeling for her.

        I was a trifle confused myself as I had Tauriel at home around me all the time and this beautiful warrior princess far away but never too far from my mind. So I decided the best way to figure out what I felt for her and she for me was to write the letter in hopes that she would agree to a correspondence with me. My hopes were answered when a day later, I received her reply. She also sent me a little leaf along with the letter. The leaf was off a tree in Rivendell. It was small and one might think insignificant but to me it was just opening another side of her; less warrior and more whimsical.

        Our letters at first contained general learnings of one another; histories, childhoods, parents, and slowly progressed into wishes for the future. Slowly but not too slow, the letters started to get romantic and protective of one another. I could not wait until the next time we would see each other. Tauriel sensed a shift in me and yet I still considered her special to me. My father still saw Tauriel and I together and frowned upon it. He had no idea about my conversing with the Princess of Rivendell and Lorien. Though my father was king, certain things there I wanted to be kept private. Considering, no one knew how I felt about Hedraliel or she towards me nor where all of this would go.

        I did appreciate having her as confidant about my inner most thoughts and feelings which I knew she would never tell a soul. She would always write about how every time she sat down to write something, Arwen would roll her eyes and pretend to peek before leaving the room. Arwen respected our privacy to our letters and did not peek no matter how interested she was. I am sure Hedraliel gave her the abridged version of things but Arwen was not one to prod. Privacy was key and we both highly respected each other to keep that and those around us did as well.

        Our letters slowly built trust and love came with it. Though I still cared about Tauriel, I knew in my deepest heart of hearts that I was in love with Hedraliel maybe even from the first time my eyes laid themselves upon her. Somehow, we had to be together someday. We always sent each other small little things that most people would find silly or even childish but I could almost picture her giggling a bit when she opened whichever package from me. It was worth hearing about her emotions in the next letter.

        One day I opened a letter from her and I knew something was off. The words were not as happy and playful as they usually were. She told me about a visit to Rivendell by the two wizards of our lands and that even her aunt Galadriel had come and that she and Arwen observed Gandalf the Grey take out some kind of sword that made them feel physically unwell. They both left the balcony but she told me she never told Arwen that that sword whispered the word "Nacromancer" at her. She did not know what it meant but she had been feeling a gathering darkness for a while.

        In Mirkwood, it was also obvious that something was going on but we did not really know what it was. We were always at the ready and knew that Mirkwood was more susceptible to attack then Lorien or Rivendell were. That is also why Tauriel and I would ride out a lot to see what was going on surrounding our lands in order to make sure nothing evil came up and caught us unawares. So far we were safe but I felt something was not right in the world. We would just have to wait and see. My father was very much against joining in wars or battles that were not ours to fight. He had had bad experiences in the past.

        He and I were not that close. To me he was more of the king then the father. Hedraliel and I had something else in common; neither of us ever met our mothers. I do not know what became of mine and hers died while in childbirth with her. Hedraliel thinks that it does not matter that I never met my mother as she believed that I have her nature. Based on the description I gave to her of my father, she could tell that he and I were nowhere near alike. Even through paper and letter she told me there was a softness about me that my father did not possess. She also told me that being hard and arrogant did not a good king make.

        Look at Lord Elrond, he was strong and hard when needed but toward Arwen and Hedraliel he was the biggest protector and father. He showed them love and not just because they were female. Elrond was that way with others as well. It was just not seen unless you were in his inner circle. But even to the outside world he never seemed arrogant unlike father mine. Which could also explain why he and my father were not close. They spoke but only when needed and the elves of Mirkwood new well that Lord Elrond topped their own king.

        But I am getting off track here; this was probably the most I have ever thought about my father. Hedraliel was in my thoughts; every waking hour unless business called then I would half-heartedly tuck her away into the back of my head until I could bring her out again. I looked forward to each and every single one of her letters. We were going to meet again soon and I wanted to give her something. I had already started to picture her lips to be soft as pillows and that little sigh that sometimes escaped her mouth. Which meant, I could not wait for the moment when we would share our first kiss.